


She Blinded Me With Science

by BigMammaLlama5



Category: Supergirl (TV 2015)
Genre: F/F, Lena knows Kara is supergirl, Memory Loss, Pining, angst but in the gay way, promised happy ending
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-04-20
Updated: 2019-04-27
Packaged: 2020-01-20 16:54:47
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 3
Words: 33,870
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/18529219
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/BigMammaLlama5/pseuds/BigMammaLlama5
Summary: The tale end of a business trip in Metropolis goes a little sideways for Lena when Kara quite literally crash lands in front of her.





	1. Part One: Singing Tesla Coils

**Author's Note:**

  * For [starbreads](https://archiveofourown.org/users/starbreads/gifts).



> Rated Teen for language and brief mention of blood/injury.
> 
> I wanted to tell my own version of the memory loss au! I haven't read any of the other versions save for one of the original asks I saw floating around on tumblr. I wanted to make sure I told my interpretation without accidentally pulling in someone else's writing, so if there are any glaring similarities I promise they are purely on accident. Special support appearances from Sam and Alex with a dash of Vasquez and Jess.
> 
> I hope you enjoy this hot mess, part two will be up within the week! <3

It was a pleasant evening in downtown Metropolis. The sky was clear and the air was warm. Lena Luthor relaxed back into her chair and enjoyed the balmy breeze that played with the flyaways that had escaped her severe updo. She listened to Sam the best she could, the wine catching up to her and giving Lena the sensation that she was partially composed of Pinot Noir flavored jello. Lena let a low laugh bubble out of her chest when her friend enacted a spot-on impression of one of the more obnoxious investors they had been meeting with that week. The weasley little man had been a thorn in the entire conference’s side and she was glad to be rid of him soon enough. Just one more day of mind-numbing arguments disguised as meetings and they could return home to National City on Saturday. Lena drew in a deep breath through her nose and sucked on her teeth in a mix of amusement and cringing at her final impression. Sam rolled her eyes and buried her nose into her own glass.

 

Samantha was happy and healthy, having fully recovered from Reign and adapted to her new Kryptonian powers that were no longer locked away. It had taken quite a bit of time, mainly to deal with the mental ramifications of learning that you essentially had a whole other side of yourself stuffed into a shoe box at the back of your brain. It was hard but Sam was doing well. She was still regularly attending therapy sessions to safely get a handle on what had happened. It had definitely helped that there was another Kryptonian on earth with whom she could talk to and train with. One who had also experienced a sudden adjustment like she had. The feelings of good humor started to sink heavily in her chest into a different emotion as her mind wandered to the Alien in question. Lena looked up at the sky and wondered exactly what Supergirl was up to.

 

What Kara was up to.

 

Her best friend.

 

The one she unfortunately had a staggeringly heavy crush on.

 

Well.

 

Not just a crush.

 

It was more of a soul-crushing  _ ache _ that didn’t seem to be getting any better no matter how many different ways she tried to resolve it. Poor Sam had put up with her watery-toned pitiful moping on the subject many times over the past couple months and Lena hated to keep bringing it up. But it was becoming more and more of a consuming thought. She hadn’t felt this way over Jack  _ or _ James. Or anyone else she had dated for that matter. The only route she hadn’t taken, and quite honestly  _ refused _ to take, was actually telling her. Kara couldn’t know. What if it got weird? What if she lost her best friend because of her stupid feelings? No. Lena wasn’t going to risk it. She already had to deal with high-stakes risks day in and day out at L Corp, and having to risk a real and concrete part of her private life wasn’t something she was keen on doing.

 

No. Kara could  _ never _ know.

 

Lena knocked back the end of her glass and carefully set the crystal down onto the table with a quiet  _ clink _ . She could feel Sam’s warm brown eyes trained on her face and fought to keep her expression from twisting. Based on how she tentatively reached across the table towards her, Lena was sure she hadn’t done the best job at it.

 

“D’you think there’s such a thing as loving someone so much it hurts?”

 

The thought slipped out in a meandering mumble through loose, wine-stained lips before she could stop it. Lena tried not to let her guilt eat her up again as she imagined stamping her feelings down into a tiny little box and punting it off the top of L Corp. She couldn’t bring herself look at her other best friend (that she thankfully did  _ not _ have a consuming attraction to), and decided to distract herself by filling her glass up for the nth time. The weight of the bottle made her pause her thought process to focus on what she was doing. The last thing she wanted to do was drop the deep red wine onto the pristinely white table cloth of the 5-Michelin star restaurant they were patronizing and her new Oscar de la Renta because she couldn’t keep her feelings in check. Maybe if she poured slow enough she could pretend that she hadn’t said such a betraying thought in the first place.

 

Stupid wine, stupid brain, stupid  _ stupid _ feelings.

 

Lena knew that she would find nothing but an achingly familiar mix of sad comfort, frustration, and poorly hidden tired pity in Sam’s expression. She took another deep breath and steeled herself with a deep drink before choosing to meet her friend’s gaze. Lena carefully returned her glass to the table again, pulled her defenses around her shoulders like a shroud, and then looked up.

 

She didn’t find the look of predicted pity, but one of confusion and open horror as Sam looked up and out into the sky over her right shoulder. Lena’s brow pulled down into a deep furrow and she twisted in her seat just in time to see a jarringly electric purply-blue flash high above them. A  _ KOOM _ echoed off of the surrounding buildings in a deep reverberation and a dark streak plummeted towards them. The sound of whatever it was cutting through the air was a ghastly screaming whistle.

 

_ “Lena-” _

 

A dark figure crackling with staticky blue energy crashed down into the patio with a deafening  _ crack _ before Sam could finish her warning. Lena recoiled back into her seat with fright and shielded her face with her arms. Her heart leapt into her throat as the force of the impact shook the entire patio and she could only hear her roaring pulse in her ears. Broken stone exploded out from the point of impact, the figure crushing an empty table and half a dozen chairs. Lena ducked as the debris rained down on them as the sudden warmth of Sam’s body shielded her. Lena knew, logically, that she was as safe as she could be in that moment; but still it felt as if her heart was trying to leap from her ribcage. She had experienced too many close calls to  _ not _ be on edge about what was going on.

 

There were a few seconds of panic as people screamed and scrambled from their seats and fled into the restaurant. A beat later sirens began to wail nearby, speeding closer as they wove through traffic as quickly as they could. Sam was at her side in an instant, grabbing her by the elbow and hauling her up out of the seat. Lena coughed as the dust settled and kept her head ducked as the remaining chips of concrete fell back down into the patio. She hastily grabbed her phone and purse with shaky hands, her newly filled glass laying broken in a pool of purply red wine, and let Sam pull her back towards the restaurant as she kept her piercing brown eyes turned towards the sky. As they were rounding the table next to theirs, Lena chanced a look back at the figure who had thudded heavily into the patio. Lena’s heart sank as an icy cold shock of realization washed over her. She knew that jewel toned suit of red and blue far too well, even partially buried in rubble.

 

_ “Kara!” _

 

A cry of distress caught feebly in her throat and she somehow wrenched her arm out of Sam’s hold, rushing back the way she had come with Sam’s own gasp of recognition loud behind her. It only took a few seconds to reach the downed Super, but the pleasant jello feel from a few moments earlier had quickly turned to lead in her stomach. Lena felt like she was running against a riptide. Sam was at Kara’s side in a heartbeat, pulling broken furniture out of the way and discreetly pushing a few of the larger chunks of concrete off of a very dazed and confused looking Supergirl. Lena’s vision tunneled dangerously as she noticed the small trickle of blood dripping down the side of her left temple.

 

“ _ Fucking hell, Kara. _ ” Lena murmured, stepping over her long sprawled legs and carefully crouched down next to her.

 

Lena dug into her purse and pulled out a spare tissue, dropping her belongings next to her knee into the dust without hesitation. When she turned back to her friend, she balked. Blue eyes were trying to focus on her face, looking glassy and apprehensive. Lena knew immediately that something wasn’t right. Kara blinked slowly a few times as she opened and closed her mouth, unsure of what to say.

 

“Supergirl?”

 

Sam’s soft call from her other side caught her attention and Lena’s heart sank when Kara frowned deeply. A familiar expression of mild panic swept across her dusty face and Lena couldn’t help but reach out and touch her shoulder. Kara flinched at the touch and Lena snatched her hand back as if she had been burned. In truth, the feeling in her chest felt worse.

 

“...do I know you?”

 

Dread started sitting heavily in the pit of Lena’s stomach as she met Sam’s worried gaze over her prone form. Light grey dust and small pieces of concrete had settled into their hair and onto their shoulders, having been the closest to where Kara had crashed. Sam licked her lips and tried again, turning her attention back to their slowly panicking friend.

 

“Supergirl, do you know where you are?”

 

The sirens wailed to a stop outside of the establishment, the blinding red and blue emergency lights flashed brightly over the top of the privacy wall to the patio. Kara shook her head and immediately winced, hissing as she pulled her arm out from under a slab of concrete to prod gingerly at her temple. Lena automatically reached out again and gently pulled her hand away.

 

“No, don’t touch that. Can I…?” She held up the folded tissue as Kara eyed her warily, but allowed her with a minute nod.

 

Lena breathed deeply and carefully started parting Kara’s hair to find the cut. It didn’t take long, and thankfully it wasn’t as big as she had feared. She cursed the wobbly feeling the alcohol was still playing in her system and took another steadying breath.

 

“This might hurt.” 

 

She pressed the tissue to the cut and applied some pressure, grimacing as Kara whined in pain. Sam shifted back into her line of sight again, her motherly instinct kicking in.

 

“Hey, kiddo. Can you tell me where you are?”

 

The warmth in her voice put Kara a little at ease and she looked around without moving her head.

 

“I’m… on the ground?”

 

Lena almost laughed.  _ Almost _ .

 

Sam matched her grimace and quickly looked back over her shoulder as police and emergency personnel swept into the patio. The other guests of the restaurant were pressed up to the broad windows, phones out and recording. Anger roiled in Lena’s belly and she carefully schooled her emotions off of her face. It was public knowledge that Lena Luthor was somewhat friends with Supergirl, but they didn’t know how close they actually were. It would seem out of place for her to be so openly worried over someone she supposedly wasn’t that close to, and it infuriated her that she had to pretend to not be so invested in Kara’s wellbeing.

 

“Hey, uh, I’m gonna go head off some of that.” Sam rose to her feet and was picking her way back over the broken concrete to the encroaching officers.

 

Lena watched her go for a moment, and then turned her attention back to Kara when she felt fingers brush against her elbow. She was confronted by wide blue eyes, openly afraid and her left pupil dilated to the size of a dinner plate.

 

_ Concussion. _

 

Kara was also a little singed, the strange electric blue energy having dissipated but leaving spidery sooty marks across her deep navy bodysuit. The ghost of one of the tendrils was smeared up the front of her neck and twisted up the right side of her face. She was covered in a healthy layer of dust and black dirt. Lena returned her gaze to Kara’s and tried not to burst into tears at how helpless she felt.

 

“You’re okay, you’re safe with me.”

 

“I… I don’t know who you are.” She whispered hoarsely, fear and dismay creeping into her voice as she searched Lena’s face for any sign of recognition.

 

Lena stamped down the burn of tears and panic and forced what she hoped was a reassuring smile onto her face. “That’s okay, we’ll get you sorted out soon.”

 

Kara watched her carefully as she checked the cut under the soiled tissue, stained dark red with her blood. Lena  _ hated _ that color.

 

“Your face tells me I should know you.”

 

Her comment was quiet and slightly slurred. Lena nodded hesitantly and gave her another quick smile, refolded the used tissue, and pressed it back onto her cut as police officers started to sweep the patio around them. Sam returned to them looking a little less frazzled and knelt back on Kara’s other side. Blue eyes followed her as she came back down to her level.

 

“You called me Supergirl.”

 

It wasn’t a question, and Sam inclined her head with a small grin. “I did. That’s who you are.”

 

Kara gave her a displeased look and pursed her lips.

 

“What a stupid name. Why not Super _ woman _ .”

 

Lena  _ did _ crack a genuine smile at Kara’s self burn and reemergence of one of Kara’s old pet peeves she had grown to live with.

 

“Well. Still snarky as ever when you don’t feel good.” Sam snorted and looked back over her shoulder, choosing not to clarify that  _ she _ was Superwoman when Kara was tied up with other business. “I’m gonna go see what’s taking the Paramedics so long. And… I should call Director J’onzz.”

 

Sam popped back up to her feet with a cheeky wink and strode away, her high heels clicking over the pavement and just audible over the rumble of idling diesel engines a few yards away. Lena felt fingers brush her elbow again and looked back down at Kara. She still seemed anxious, but Lena thought she had her panic under better control for the moment.

 

“What happened?” She mumbled, pressing the heels of her hand into her right eye.

 

“I don’t know, but you got hurt. It’s a, uh, rare occurrence that you do.”

 

“Really?”

 

“You can be pretty hard headed.” Lena quirked a brow at her and adjusted the tissue against her scalp again.

 

Kara was silent for a moment. She mumbled something and Lena had to lean forward to catch what she said after asking her to repeat it.

 

“Thank you for being nice to me.”

 

Affection surged into her chest and Lena had to fight to keep from pulling her into a hug. “Of course, you’re my friend.”

 

“We’re friends?”

 

“We are.” Lena discreetly tucked the soiled napkin back into her purse after finding that the cut had healed up cleanly. At least Kara still had her powers.

 

“You don’t look very happy to see me.”

 

Lena could hear the hurt in Kara’s voice and she quickly stood up and circled her, sinking down into where Sam had knelt earlier. Once her back was facing the window and her body was blocking the view of Kara’s face Lena let her worry bleed back into her expression.

 

“Those people behind me? They don’t know we’re friends and they don’t know what your real name is. I have to pretend I don’t know you sometimes to help keep you safe.”

 

Kara eyed her again warily and prodded at where the cut had been on her head.

 

“Who are you?”

 

“Lena.” She sighed, not bothering to hide the tired worry anymore.

 

“Just Lena?”

 

“To you, yes. Just Lena.”

 

“Where am I?”

 

“You’re in Metropolis. More specifically, in a self-made crater on the patio of  _ Mouniq _ .”

 

“Mouniq?” Kara looked around gingerly from her pile of rubble, slowly shifting her legs free.

 

“A very nice place to eat.”

 

“Oh… will you tell them I’m sorry I broke their ground?”

 

“I’m sure they’ll understand.”

 

Kara watched the police officers and firefighters approach and began to help remove the rubble around her with a slight frown. “Who are they?”

 

“Emergency workers.”

 

“Are they nice like you?”

 

Lena was too preoccupied to answer answer past an affirming hum, but instead reached out and dug her phone out of her purse. It was thankfully unscathed and with a glance and touch of her thumb, the device was unlocked. She ignored the sudden notifications of calls and texts and quickly swiped to a more recent selfie that Kara had cajoled her into, and luckily one that she had happened to be wearing her suit in.

 

“Here. This was from the other day when you came to have lunch with me.” She held the phone out so Kara could see, speaking quietly in an attempt to not be overheard.

 

Her friend frowned and squinted at the screen.

 

“That’s me?”

 

“In the blue, yes.”

 

Kara studied the picture for a long moment, glanced down at her own body, back up, then back down again and smoothed her hand over the El crest on her chest. Her lip jutted out as she started to put the pieces together, the very Kara crinkle starting to form between her brows.

 

“Can I see what I look like now? Please?”

 

“Sure.” Lena quickly navigated to the camera and changed it to the front facing setting. “That’s you.”

 

Kara’s frown deepened as her face showed up on screen, slightly cast in shadow and grainy from the low light. Hair that had been effortlessly windswept in the picture was lank and dirty, framing a sooty frowning face. It was hard to see much of the dirt and dust smeared across her broad shoulders, but it showed up on her skin and made her suit look like it had gone through the wringer.

 

“I look like shit.”

 

The sudden and very un-Kara-like curse caught Lena completely off guard, leaving her to bite back a snort of laughter.

 

“You do look a bit rough.” She agreed with a solemn nod.

 

Kara turned her head side to side a few times, studying the angles of her face in the low light and rubbed at the smudge on her cheek before turning her attention back to Lena.

 

“If we really are friends, you can say I look like shit. I won’t be offended.” She told her, her expression booking no room for argument even as her words came out a little slurred.

 

Lena bit back another laugh and shook her head in thin amusement. “Yeah, okay. You look like shit.”

 

“Thanks. You look like…  _ not _ that?”

 

The heat of a deep blush crawled up her neck and Lena swallowed thickly, her mouth tasting like dust and wine. She busied herself with putting her phone securely back into her purse to curb the need to reach out and move a lock of hair off of Kara’s forehead. Before she could try to formulate an answer Sam was back in the patio leading a team of five paramedics and a rolling gurney. Lena saw Kara tense up again as the strangers approached and realized that things could get dicey, fast. She turned her attention back to her friend and carefully touched her shoulder again. Kara didn’t flinch this time, but instead shifted closer to her.

 

“Supergirl, these people are going to make sure you aren’t too badly hurt. But I need you to do something for me.”

 

Kara nodded quietly in response, her eyes wide and a trusting.

 

“You are a lot stronger than anyone here. Try not to grab onto anything too tightly, okay?”

 

Kara frowned but nodded carefully again, trying not to move her head too much. “Okay.”

 

“Good. I-” She paused and looked to Sam, who was gesturing towards one of the officers as she approached. “-I need to go talk to someone, but I’ll just be over there. Sam will keep you company. She’s our friend too, you can trust her. I’ll be right back.”

 

Kara almost reached out for her again but hesitated, instead watching Lena rise stiffly to her feet and pick her way around the emergency workers. She caught Sam’s elbow and leaned in close.

 

“Show her that picture of you two after you towed that freighter back into port. She just needs something solid to go off of.”

 

Sam nodded, already pulling her phone from her blazer. “I’ll keep an eye on her.”

 

Lena nodded and glanced back, watching Kara curiously look over her shoulder as one of the firefighters struggled to remove a twisted hunk of metal that was formerly a chair. She reached back and wrapped her hand around part of the frame to try to help, and a squealing crunch as the metal crumpled under her grasp like paper had her jerking her hand back in fear.

 

“Oh, yeah, okay, I’m gonna-” Sam hurried away towards a newly-panicked Kara. “Hey, hey it’s okay, don’t worry I know a trick that can help-”

 

Lena almost went back to Kara but the officer appeared at her elbow. “Miss Luthor, if I could get your statement?”

 

She steeled herself and set her face into a pleasantly neutral expression. “Of course.”

 

* * *

 

Much to her relief, the process didn’t take nearly as long as she had thought it would. It wasn’t without the usual suspicions that accompanied her name, and Lena was glad to be a little bit inebriated for the entire process. It made shaking off the officer’s accusing tone a little easier, but still obnoxiously frustrating. Eventually he dismissed her after finding nothing to hold against her to prevent her from leaving. She returned to Kara, now seated on the lowered gurney as Sam argued heatedly with three of the five paramedics. She was holding a plastic bag of used gauze clenched in her fist and brandishing an ID in the other. Another Paramedic was sitting next to Kara helping her open a bag of goldfish crackers and the fifth was wisely staying out of the way. They had cleaned her face of dirt and blood, and one of them had kindly pulled her hair out of the way into a loose tail. Her cape had been removed and folded neatly across her lap. She looked a little calmer, but was more interested in picking the little cheddar flavored snacks out of the bag the seated Paramedic held for her.

 

“-and I’m telling you, that I have explicit permission from the Department of Extranormal Operations based out of National City that I am legally qualified to harbor Aliens such as Supergirl! I already have permission from the the MCPD what  _ more _ do you want?!”

 

Kara perked up when she spotted Lena and a hint of her familiar sunny smile tugged at the corners of her lips. Lena made her way over to the gurney and sat down on her other side.

 

“How are you feeling?”

 

“Okay. My head doesn’t really hurt anymore.” Kara shrugged and picked out another small cracker, holding it gingerly between her fingertips. “Sam told me to practice being gentle, and I was hungry, so… goldfish.”

 

“She only crushed most of the first bag.” The gentle man on Kara’s other side spoke up with a soft smile. “Supergirl definitely sustained a pretty significant concussion, but thanks to her abilities much of the superficial and internal damage has already healed. She’s pretty remarkable.”

 

“Except I still can’t remember anything.” Kara grumbled around a mouthful of cracker.

 

“And at the rate you’re healing, you should within the next few days. However I’d still strongly recommend no flying until she’s fully recovered. We don’t want you wandering into dangerous airspaces.” The man reminded her, his deep voice rumbling in his chest. He leaned around her for a moment to look at Lena. “I’ve helped her cousin a few times. Nice guy.”

 

Kara pouted a little and Lena noticed that her dusty boots were hovering an inch or two off the ground. At least the whole  _ Hey by the way, you have superpowers! _ didn’t seem to have made the situation worse. Lena adjusted her purse on her lap and leaned back to talk to the paramedic around Kara’s broad shoulders.

 

“I have a contact through the Agency that Supergirl is affiliated with. They have a team of medical personnel specifically trained to take care of her when situations like this occur. I’m not looking down on the Doctors at Metropolis General or you and your coworkers in the slightest, but you aren’t prepared to offer her the care she needs.”

 

“I believe you, Miss Luthor, and I have no intention to argue. But you might want to get them on the phone before my boss has your friend arrested.” He raised a thick brow at her and jerked his head in the direction of Sam still arguing with the other three Paramedics.

 

Lena sighed and slid to the edge of the gurney, pulling her phone from her purse again. “I’ll be right back.” She told Kara quietly.

 

Kara nodded and crunched on another cracker, her wide blue eyes watching her go. As Lena started swiping to her contacts she heard Kara say to the Paramedic,  _ She’s so nice and so pretty, can you believe she’s my friend? _ Lena turned away as if she hadn’t heard, hiding her blush as the man watching over her snorted in amusement. Lena ignored the mess of missed calls she had received in the past twenty minutes and dialed J’onn’s direct number. If he could have accepted her call any faster he should have just called her himself. Lena thought with a tinge of guilt that a handful of those missed calls were probably from him.

 

“ _ Miss Luthor, what’s going on, where’s Supergirl?” _

 

Lena could hear the note of panic under his gruff demands and she immediately felt worse.

 

“Director, she’s here and… you’ll want to send a team out. I’m currently trying to get the Metropolis Paramedics to release her into my custody but they’re refusing Miss Arias’s security clearance.”

 

“ _ Let me speak to them.” _

 

Even though the fury lacing his tone wasn’t directed at her, it still made Lena feel like she had done something wrong. Without another word and stepped around her infuriated friend and held her phone out to the Paramedic in Sam’s face. The yelling match came to a jarring halt and he turned his ire on Lena.

 

“Miss Luthor, I will  _ not- _ ”

 

“Take the fucking phone.”

 

The man flushed in anger, but crumbled under the full weight of the tone she only saved for her most idiotic business contacts. He accepted the phone and before he could speak Lena could very easily hear the muffled sound of J’onn’s raised voice through the speaker. The color drained from the Paramedic’s face and Lena was almost nervous that he would pass out. Lena didn’t want to know what he was saying, but she recognized a few legal jargon phrases that would have made even the stoniest of lawyers cower. The man listened quietly for a solid thirty seconds, murmured a meek  _ Yes sir _ , and handed the phone back to Lena.

 

“Team, let’s get Supergirl released into the custody of one Ms Arias.”

 

Lena stepped away again, shooting Sam a small smile when she thanked her and raised her phone back to her ear.

 

“Thank you, Director.”

 

J’onn huffed a frustrated sigh. “ _ Tell me how she is?” _

 

She wandered back over to Kara and her new Paramedic friend. “Physically she’s fine. However, whatever she was hit with threw her back down to the ground with enough force to really rattle her. She’s, um. She’s lost her memory.”

 

Lena had never heard J’onn swear so colorfully in her life. She settled back down onto the gurney next to Kara and gladly accepted one of the waters the restaurant had brought out to them. She took a few healthy sips and listened to J’onn bark out orders for a long moment, Kara catching her eye in curiosity. Lena held a finger up in a shushing motion and tried not to let her blush come back when her friend leaned in close and studied her face. She leaned back a little, and tried not to think about how cute she looked munching on her snack.

 

“ _ Lena?” _

 

“I’m here, Director.”

 

“ _ May I speak to Supergirl?” _

 

“Yes, just a moment.” Lena pulled the phone away from her ear and turned a little more towards Kara. “I have somebody who wants to talk to you, okay? I’ll hold the phone for you to listen.”

 

Kara nodded and held still as Lena held the speaker up to her ear. “Hi!”

 

The familiar sunny greeting made a grin tug at Lena’s mouth, but she focused on drinking more of her water. Kara listened quietly and offered a few answers where she could, taking the first little packet of crushed up crackers from the Paramedic. Lena had to look away when she licked her finger, dipped it into the bag, and sucked the crumb covered digit into her mouth. She refrained from looking at Sam too, knowing that the sudden spike in her heart rate would probably draw her attention.

 

Stupid  _ stupid _ feelings.

 

“Okay! I’ll see ya later, boss. Hey Lena? The Director wants to talk to you again.”

 

Lena shook herself back into reality and took her phone back. “Yes?”

 

“ _ Agent Danvers is gathering a team and will be departing soon for Metropolis, ETA roughly four hours. She has informed me that you need to make sure Kara doesn’t fall asleep until she can get there.” _

 

“Understood. Sam and I will keep her busy. I’ll forward her the address to the hotel we’re booked at.”

 

“ _ I appreciate your willingness to assist on such short notice, Lena.” _

 

A wave of emotion swept through her chest and Lena blinked back the sudden burn of tears as she returned her empty glass to the tray, thinking back to when she had been officially brought up to speed on Supergirl and the DEO.

 

“I meant it when I said I would be there for her.”

 

J’onn sighed wearily and made a noise of agreement. “ _ I’ll speak to you soon. Don’t hesitate to call if you need something.” _

 

“I won’t, thank you.”

 

Lena ended the call and threw her phone back into her bag as she rose from the gurney, suddenly feeling quite tired and sluggish after her body began to slow down from it’s adrenaline rush. Kara finished dumping her crumbs of cracker into her mouth and frowned as a couple of them dusted her chest. Even with no memory, Kara was still a little bit of a messy eater. Sam picked her way over the broken concrete, the three glowering Paramedics she had been arguing with following her.

 

“Alright, Supergirl. Let’s get you somewhere safe.” Sam clapped her hands together with a friendly smile and held her hands out.

 

“Where are we going?”

 

“We’re going to go hang out and get you cleaned up while we wait for a Doctor. She won’t be here for a while though, so I thought we could order you some pizza.”

 

Lena lifted Kara’s folded cape off of her lap and tucked it securely into her purse, most of it fitting without much shoving. Sam leaned down and put on a show to haul Kara to her feet with the assistance of the man who had been sitting with her, holding her steady as she wobbled.

 

“My legs feel funny.”

 

“How so?” The paramedic spoke up, his brow furrowed.

 

“Wobbly.”

 

“No pain? No tingles? Pinching? Numbness?”

 

Kara shook her head at each suggestion he threw out to her and Lena felt more and more relieved with each shake of her head. If anything, she just looked grungy and rattled and like she had fallen into a dirt pile. Technically she had, but from at least sixty stories up. The Paramedic Kara had befriended walked her through some simple mobility checks and determined that she was just a little weak from her fall still. He transferred her back to Sam.

 

“If she has any worsening conditions before her Agents get here, please bring her in right away.”

 

“Hopefully we won’t have to, but I can get her there fast.” Sam reassured him.

 

One of the Paramedics that had been arguing with Sam stepped up again and offered one more time to take Supergirl in to the hospital. Kara eyed them warily, her eyes jumping from the Paramedic, to the kind man who had sat with her, to Sam, then to Lena. She held Lena’s gaze for a long moment, almost too long, but then turned back to the Paramedic with a determined expression.

 

“No offense, but I don’t know you.”

 

“Ma’am, I insist-”

 

“Nope.”

 

“It’s for your heal-”

 

“Nope.”

 

The Paramedic huffed in frustration and looked back to Lena with a poorly hidden scowl as she bit back a laugh. He turned back to Kara.

 

“Do you understand the situation that you are in and the severity of your injuries?”

 

“I’m concussed, not stupid.” She retorted.

 

“And you understand that by not coming to the hospital that you’re putting yourself at risk?”

 

Kara frowned. “I’m apparently always a risk. AND I’m already getting better.”

 

“Supergirl-”

 

“If something happens my friends will help. But right now I’m tired and I just want to leave.”

 

Kara mumbled something that sounded a little rude but it was so slurred nobody really knew what it was. Lena bit back another laugh as the man turned back towards her.

 

“Miss Luthor. Please bring her in if her condition worsens. I’ve walked Miss Arias through general care and warnings that you should be on the lookout for. I must reiterate that this is extremely unwise and-”

 

“Rest assured, she’s in good hands.”

 

The Paramedic just set his jaw and crossed his arms. Sam nodded her thanks to the two that had been less confrontational and sturned Kara towards the door back into the restaurant.

 

“Okay, kiddo. Let’s get you out to the car- _ whoa _ , okay, c’mere. I got you.”

 

Sam slid in tight to Kara’s side and wrapped an arm around her waist when she began to list forward. Lena quickly stepped up to her opposite side and tucked herself in to help steady her. Kara half grumbled, half hissed in annoyance and discomfort but draped her arms heavily over their shoulders. The smell of electrical feedback and earth clung heavily to her. Lena could just barely pick out the scent of her shampoo as she drew closer, wrapping her arm around her back. She knew that she wasn’t really helping and Sam was doing all of the heavy lifting, but the grateful look Kara gave her was enough to keep her where she was. It took them a few stumbling steps but soon they found an uneven rhythm and she and Sam led a slightly groggy Supergirl back into the restaurant. Thankfully the police had cleared a path and moved most of the still-present patrons away to the other side of the dining area away from the patio. When Lena looked past Kara and Sam she noticed why they had done so. Many of the windows were cracked from the debris that Kara had kicked up when she crashed.

 

“This place is so  _ nice. _ ” Kara stage-whispered, forgetting to walk and let herself be tugged along like a person-shaped balloon.

 

“It is. Maybe when you’re feeling better I’ll bring you back for lunch.” Lena told her conversationally, more focused on keeping her head down and away from the cellphones that were pointed at them.

 

She felt Kara turn her head and shift closer, then her warm breath was washing over her jaw. Heat crept down her spine and Lena couldn’t believe her terrible luck. It only got worse when she heard Sam stifle a laugh on the other side of Kara.

 

“Really?!”

 

“Yes, really. I think you would like the menu here.”

 

Kara hummed in thought and straightened back up, remembering to walk again but only succeeding in making them stumble. They finally made it to the entrance and found the valet boy had just sprinted off to summon their driver. They stood there quietly in the dim light for just a moment until Kara fully relaxed into them with a tired groan.

 

“You guys are so nice. And so pretty. But also like.  _ So  _ nice. Thanks for helping me, I hope I can remember stuff soon ‘cause I think you’re probably pretty awesome friends.”

 

Lena tried not to think about the betraying flutter in her chest as she helped Sam hold up Kara and just nodded. She decided wanted more wine after all, despite her better judgement.

 

“I hope you can too.”

 

“Also I’m still hungry.”

 

“I’m gonna order pizza soon, hold your horses.” Sam reassured her. “Plus I think I might just dump you in the shower first.”

 

“Why are you dumping me?” Kara asked, not really paying attention but instead looking around at the tall skyscrapers of Metropolis.

 

“I’m-” Sam sighed. “Never mind.”

 

Lena had a teasing retort on the tip of her tongue but realized that Sam had a  _ lot _ more ammunition to play with than she had. Instead she helped hold up Kara, who couldn’t decide on floating or standing. She was getting black dirt all over her dress but Lena didn’t care anymore. She was more concerned about how to  _ not _ enjoy the familiar heat rolling off of her body. Kara was a cuddler. Plain and simple. And she was also one of the few people Lena allowed to practically sit on top of her, much less touch in a casual manner. And that was  _ before _ she started having obnoxious romantic feelings for her best friend.

 

She and Kara had clicked the moment they met officially in her office. Lena didn’t like to count their actual first meeting when Kara had caught her crashing helicopter. There was a deep and earnest need in Kara to strive to be the best that she could be, and that in turn reflected through her friendship. To not necessarily be human, but to put as much good back into the world as she could. To help. To protect. And sometimes, in Lena’s case, to help advance the science in the world’s top labs. Of course, she would always go to Lena first, but if she needed to turn her down she got the chance to help Kara pick who else she could potentially approach. It was a good system. It was easy for Lena to let her in. To befriend her and then unfortunately fall in love with her.

 

“Getting shocked hurts. I don’t wanna go through that again.” Kara mumbled.

 

“Is that what happened?” Lena turned her head in to her, curiously studying her profile as she kept her head craned back.

 

“Mmmmmyeah? I think? It was all… zappy.”

 

Their town car pulled up to the curb before they could ask her any more questions and they piled into the back, Lena first as she tugged Kara along and Sam last as she helped her get her feet in. Kara continued to pepper them with questions as they quickly made their way back to their hotel, securely buckled into the middle seat as her feet floated up off the floorboard. She kept bodily leaning across both Lena and Sam to look out of the windows, smearing more black dirt all over the interior of the car. They were about halfway to their destination when Kara flopped over on Sam and started prodding at the back of her hip. Sam groaned at the sudden weight crushing her and blew Kara’s hair out of her face.

 

“Hey, something feels funny here.”

 

Lena found it very difficult for her to not stare at Kara’s thigh but she succeeded. Instead, she followed Kara’s hand and found the tiny hidden zipper that was sewn in just above her yellow belt. She could tell there was something in Kara’s suit, and with deft fingers she tugged an utterly destroyed DEO issued cell phone from her pocket.

 

“Ah. Well.” She muttered and zipped the pocket back up to hold the broken fragments of glass in until they could be properly disposed of.

 

“What is it?” Sam’s muffled voice came from underneath a lump of Kryptonian muscle.

 

“It’s- _ Kara sit up _ -it’s her phone.  _ Was _ her phone.”

 

Kara straightened up and listed in the opposite direction, her broad shoulder bumping into Lena’s. She frowned as she looked at the crunched phone Lena was gingerly holding.

 

“Is that bad?”

 

“Um. It’s not great. But don’t worry, we’ll figure this out.”

 

Sam leaned around Kara. “Are you thinking of checking for something?”

 

“I…” Lena sighed and shook her head. “Maybe? I was hoping to see if I could get some data right before she was hit. Maybe even just to analyze the type of energy she was hit with? But this is…”

 

A large chunk of the screen plinked off into her lap. Lena just stared at it for a long moment.

 

“My hopes are not high.”

 

While Lena carefully wrapped Kara’s smashed phone in her cape, Sam directed the driver to the underground park for their hotel. Lena looked up through the windshield and noticed that they had been discreetly escorted by a handful of undercover MCPD, which she was thankful for. The last thing she wanted was for some unknowing fan to try to approach them while Kara was incapacitated. A few moments passed and their car rolled to a stop just next to the elevator that led up into the main lobby. Black-clad officers were already piling out of their cars and they started the arduous task of getting Kara out into the garage. Sam hopped out first and shucked her blazer, throwing it over Kara’s shoulders as she was half-pushed by Lena and half-clambered out on her own. The car park smelled like motor oil and gasoline and damp concrete.

 

Kara was wrinkling her nose at the smell when Lena got out of the car and let herself be led to the elevator bank. A handful of officers followed in a jingle of keys and equipment, their radios crackling quietly with feedback. One of the men jabbed the call button and Lena bit back a sneer when he gave her a suspicious look. Her annoyance didn’t last long when the smell of earth and a warm heavy weight draped over her shoulders from behind. Kara pressed her chest into her shoulder blades and grumbled something about being tired and how Lena smelled better than the place they were in. Of course a blush rose to her cheeks and she awkwardly patted Kara’s forearm resting across her chest as she pressed her nose into the crook of her neck. Lena looked anywhere but Kara to keep from suffering but of course her gaze glanced over to find Sam sneaking her phone back into her pocket.

 

“Sam.”

 

“Yes?”

 

“Delete it.”

 

Her friend bit back a smile, trying her best to look innocent and failing spectacularly. “I don’t know what you’re talking about.”

 

Lena just closed her eyes and tried instead to focus on her tired feet and how she still felt a bit like jello from the wine. Not about how warm Kara felt against her. Heaven forbid she enjoy how her breath washed over her skin and made excitement sing through her blood. The elevator thankfully arrived and Lena breathed a sigh of relief.

 

“Okay, Supergirl. Up, up, and away.” Sam patted her on the back cheerfully and helped pry her off of where she had glommed onto Lena.

 

They piled into the car with six officers and the doors slid shut with a quiet ding. Kara hovered in the center, looking around and mercifully it seemed that her fall had also rattled the claustrophobia out of her. However her common sense also seemed to have taken a hit. As the car started into motion, Kara didn’t. Lena watched her slowly sink and crumple onto the floor with a surprised expression. She laid there in silence, looking up at them with wide blue eyes as the elevator car quite literally carried her up to the lobby. A few of the officers snickered and Sam couldn’t help but laugh as Kara just laid there looking bewildered. Lena did have to admit it was pretty funny but tried to keep her face pleasantly neutral when her best friend looked up at her in worry. As the elevator car rolled to a stop, Kara gently floated up a few inches and stayed there.

 

“I don’t think I liked that.”

 

Sam hauled her back to her feet as the doors slid open and Lena slipped out into the marble and brass lobby. There were a few smartly dressed people waiting for an elevator across the broad hall and Lena immediately turned away from them, knowing that they presented a very interesting group. She took charge and directed them to the furthest elevator away from the front doors, carefully keeping her face turned away. Again, Kara attached herself and Sam didn’t even bother hiding pulling out her phone to take another picture.

 

“ _ Ms. Arias.” _

 

“Agent Danvers wanted a progress report.” She grinned.

 

Kara snuggled in closer and Lena huffed, trying to ignore the excited whispers of the other hotel guests. “I hardly understand how sending her a picture of Supergirl acting like a koala floaty qualifies as a  _ progress report _ .”

 

Sam just shrugged and again helped Lena pry Kara off of her as the elevator arrived for them. They filed in with the police and thankfully none of the other patrons even attempted to follow. Before the doors could close, Sam tapped around on her phone and then pointed it at Kara.

 

“What are you doing now.” Lena asked dryly, deciding that she might need to risk her coherency for her meeting the following day in exchange for a drink harder than wine.

 

“Taking a video. I just want to see if she’ll do it again.” Sam mumbled and hit the button to their floor.

 

Kara just blinked at her and then looked around at the shiny walls as the doors slid shut, Sam’s jacket hanging crooked on her broad shoulders and her feet hovering a couple inches from the floor. The elevator car rolled into motion and again, much to Sam’s delight, Kara slowly sank into a crumpled heap on the floor. She laid there twisted around looking straight up at the ceiling with wide bewildered eyes. It wasn’t until her mouth fell open slightly ajar that Sam dissolved into helpless laughter.

 

“She looks like she’s Robin Williams in Mrs. Doubtfire doing an impression of a hot dog.”

 

Laughter erupted in the elevator and Lena had to hide her face behind her hands when her helpless amusement drew tears. She really hadn’t wanted to laugh, but the resemblance was uncanny and it had been a  _ very _ stressful past hour and a half. As their snickering died down, one of the officers uttered a quiet  _ Helloooooo! _  in a very high falsetto voice and Lena lost it again. But poor Kara just laid there doing her best impression of a hot dog, trying to figure out which way was up and what everyone found so funny. The elevator arrived at their floor before everyone had finished collecting themselves and Sam tugged Kara back up off the tile as she wiped tears from her eyes. Lena didn’t even care that Kara latched onto her from behind again and worked on putting one foot in front of the other. It seemed she was doomed to be a human-shaped tugboat.

 

Lena held her purse out to Sam. “Hold this. My key card is in my wallet, could you get it?”

 

Sam took it from her and started carefully digging through as Lena adjusted her grip on the forearm slung across her chest. “Let’s go, Supergirl. I have a job for you, can you make sure you don’t talk until we get to my suite? We need to be sneaky.”

 

“Okay.”

 

Lena started down the hall, pulling Kara along like a Macy’s Thanksgiving Day Parade Balloon as the officers flanked them. They had only gone a couple yards when Sam jogged up next to her, Lena’s keycard and purse in one hand and her phone out and pointed at Kara in the other.

 

“ _ Now _ what.” Lena grumbled, taking back her purse and key.

 

Sam spoke lowly in Kryptonian, a language that Kara had been teaching her and Ruby and Lena and Alex.

“ _ Dude, she’s so into you.” _

 

Lena blushed brighter. “ _ Sam will you stoppit, you are NOT helping.” _

 

Her pending tirade was interrupted when she felt Kara shifting around behind her, and then a waft of Sam’s perfume from her jacket met her nose. Sam snorted in quiet laughter and the dark material appeared in her line of vision as Kara pulled it up over her head.

 

“Whatcha doing, Supergirl?”

 

“Shh, I’m trying to be sneaky for Lena.”

 

Lena wouldn’t admit any time soon that she was glad Sam had decided to document such a momentous occasion. As un-amusing as she currently found the situation, once Kara was back to normal she was positive they would all have a good laugh. One thing was certain, though. Lena would  _ not _ be mothering her if she could help it. Even though her best friend had lost her memory, she was still competent if just wary. Which of course Lena didn’t blame her for but surely she wouldn’t have to completely hold her hand. If the increased clinginess was just a symptom of her fear then that was a lot less daunting to deal with.

 

As Lena pulled Kara to a stop outside her door and the officers told her they would be waiting just outside if they needed anything, she realized that she was very much numb from fear. She had boxed up and set aside her own panic in the face of this odd crisis for Kara’s sake without recognizing what she was doing. It was a protective behavior she had built up over the years but it always caught her off guard. She had offered a  _ thank you  _ on autopilot to the police and simultaneously hoped the next people in uniform she saw were the DEO field medic team and Alex. Her hand shook slightly as she keyed them into her suite, Kara dutifully staying silent until the three if them were safely inside. Sam helped her turn the lights on as Lena finally kicked her shoes off.

 

“Okay, Supergirl. You don’t have to be sneaky anymore.”

 

Lena felt Kara’s arms relax around her shoulders. She picked her head up and pushed back Sam’s jacket, eyes wide as she took in the luxurious space.

 

“It’s all so shiny.”

 

“It is. Can you do me a favor and-oh. There she goes.” Sam’s shoulders slumped as Kara started floating up and towards the small chandelier in the vaulted living space like a giant moth.

 

“Can you…?” Lena watched her circle the fixture.

 

“Yeah, I got her.”

 

Sam kicked off her own heels and quietly pushed off the floor. “Hey, Kara. Don’t touch- oh for god's sake.”

 

“ _ Ow _ . It’s hot.”

 

Lena took a fortifying breath and turned away from where two of her best friends were circling around the brassy fixture. The fear could wait to be addressed. She had much more important things to worry about. Instead she padded over to the table close to the kitchen area she had decided to set up as her base of operations and started digging around for the small travel tool kit she had brought with her. Sam was still trying to get Kara to stop touching the hot light bulbs as she was carefully unfolding the dirty red cape to get to the crunched DEO phone when her own cell rang again. Lena went back to her purse, ignoring the squabbling above her and dug out her phone. The discreet number flashed across the screen and she recognized it as Alex’s personal DEO line. She answered, already steeling herself to deal with Kara’s overprotective sister channeling her secret agent personality.

 

“Hi Alex.”

 

“ _ Hi. How is she?” _

 

“Oh, y’know.” Lena turned around and watched an exasperated Sam try to block Kara’s hand from a lightbulb. “Shiny things and all that.”

 

“ _ What?” _

 

“She’s fine, just rediscovering light fixtures.”

 

“Kara, if you don’t  _ stoppit- _ ”

 

“ _ Is that Sam?” _

 

Lena turned back to her task at the kitchen table and finished unwrapping the pancaked phone. “Yes, thank goodness. I don’t know what I would do if it was just me. And  _ I _ can’t fly.”

 

“ _ Do I even WANT to know?” _

 

“Ow.  _ Ow _ . Ow. Ow.  _ Ow- _ ”

 

Lena sighed and started prising apart the bent phone case.

 

“No.”

 

“ _ Um. Okay. So. What can you tell me? Anything at all?” _

 

“I am currently trying to see what’s left of her DEO phone. It’s… badly damaged.”

 

“ _ I feel like you’re sugar coating things.” _

 

“Erm. Maybe a little. I’m going to try to see if I can start analyzing the energy that hit her. Give the DEO a headstart on what went wrong.”

 

“ _ Have I ever told you how glad I am you joined us as an independent contractor?” _

 

“Alex, be serious.”

 

“ _ I am trying to find the silver lining here, Lena.” _

 

The sound of squabbling behind her increased and then Kara was heatedly exclaiming,

 

“It’s not  _ blood orange _ , it’s fucking  _ red! _ ”

 

There was a pause and Sam burst into laughter. Lena just sighed tiredly into the receiver.

 

“ _ Did she just say f- yeah okay. Something’s really not right.” _

 

“Please try to get here soon, I have two teenagers with superpowers in my hotel room.”

 

“ _ I’ll try. We should hopefully be there in about three hours. I’d say sooner but the FAA dinged us on unnecessary speed last week.” _

 

“Because of course they did.” Lena griped. “Well I’ll be here trying not to lose my mind.”

 

“ _ I’ll try not to bother you too much, but text or call if something happens. Or even if you just need to complain.” _

 

Lena smiled wryly as she started picking out pieces of shattered processor. “Too bad my sibling couldn’t be as nice as you.”

 

“ _ I’ll tell Eliza to adopt you.” _

 

“I’ll make sure to take time off for the holidays this year.”

 

Alex snorted. “ _ I’ll let you get to work.” _

 

“Wish me luck.”

 

“ _ Luck. Talk soon.” _

 

Lena bid Alex goodbye and hung up, nearly jumping out of her skin as strong arms circled around her shoulders again.

 

“Your friend is  _ bossy _ .”

 

Logically, Lena knew that Kara thought this was an innocent exchange. However her body interpreted the hot wash of her breath across the side of her neck and the low pouty tone in her voice a completely different way. Heat crawled up her neck and she tried to slow the quick staccato of her heart.

 

“She’s a mom, I think it comes with the territory.”

 

Sam touched down next to her with a frustrated sigh, her brow barely quirking at the blush on Lena’s cheeks. “I should go run a patrol. See if I can find anything. Do you need anything before I go?”

 

“A change-”

 

“Pizza!” Kara cut across Lena loudly.

 

“... some pizza and a change of clothes for her. I think she’s closer to your size.” Lena tried again, wincing from the enthusiastic volume directly in her ear.

 

“Okay I’ll order the usual and go get some stuff out of my bag. Kara? I know you want to shout but let’s try to be polite and keep our voices down.”

 

Kara grumbled something unintelligible but didn’t say anything else. Lena could feel her chest pressing into the back of her shoulders and knew that she probably looked a grungy mess. Sam gave Lena another look,  _ almost _ tinged with pity and strode from the suite, scooping up her heels on the way out. Lena heard her greet the officers as the door clicked shut and then it was just her and Kara. Poor, clueless Kara who had no idea who she was or where she was or what had happened to her, but she knew she was safe with Lena. She swore the higher beings of the universe were playing a cruel trick on her. Why  _ else _ would they put her in such a situation? The physical closeness that she craved from Kara was actually trying to happen, but at so steep a price she knew she couldn’t keep it. A vine of deep disappointment coiled around in her chest and Lena knew she needed to put some boundaries in place immediately.

 

“Hey, Kara? Can you sit in that chair for me? I need to do some work for a little bit.”

 

“Yeah, okay.” Kara agreed easily enough and drew away from her.

 

Lena took a deep breath in relief and chanced a look at her best friend. She looked just like herself, except dirty and with an expression too open and too curious. Lena started pulling the destroyed phone apart again to ignore the aching pull just behind her sternum and decided that even if she needed the physical distance, she still very much wanted to talk to her.

 

“Have you been able to remember anything else?”

 

Kara just shook her head and shrugged. “Just that I like pizza with ham on it.”

 

Lena couldn’t help the grin that stretched across her face. “It’s a start, don’t you think?”

 

Kara shrugged again and a blush tinged her cheeks as she struggled to look at Lena in the eye. “Y-yeah.”

 

A jolt of realization kicked through Lena’s body as she remembered what Sam had uttered to her in Kryptonian in the hallway. She went back to looking for what she hoped was the SIM card for Kara’s crunched phone and tried to formulate her next comment before something wildly uncomfortable happened. Thankfully, there was a knock at the door and Sam’s muffled call of  _ It’s me! _ saved her the trouble. Lena abandoned her tools and let Sam back in, already feeling a bit more secure with her back.

 

“So here’s some clothes. Shorts, t-shirt, pair of underwear. You’ll probably want to get her in the shower first.”

 

Lena took the small bundle but balked. “Wh- _ me? _ ”

 

Sam grimaced and started towards the bathroom with her own bundle wrapped up in her suit jacket. “J’onn called me. He wants me in the air as soon as possible.”

 

The jittery panic of being alone again with Kara returned, and now Sam was telling her that she needed to help her  _ shower _ ?! Lena started after her after shooting a glance towards the seated super, clutching the clean clothes tightly in her hands.

 

“I- _ Samantha. _ ”

 

Lena had just stalked around the corner into her bedroom as Sam emerged from the bathroom clad in her sleek black and red supersuit. She unceremoniously left her rumpled power suit and button up in a loosely folded pile on the floor next to the door and eased the clothes out of Lena’s hands.

 

“Sam!”

 

“I  _ know _ , I know, I’m sorry. But I have to go.” She zipped into the bathroom to deposit the clothing and then trotted back out, pulling Lena with her.

 

“I’ll try not to be gone long but I can’t promise anything. The pizza should be here in about half an hour and I’ve already paid for it.” She pressed two crisp twenties into Lena’s hand. “That’s the tip for the driver.”

 

“ _ Sam.” _ Lena tried to grab at her friends arm to tell her to just  _ slow down for two minutes _ but the slick techy fabric got away from her.

 

“I’ll text you when I’m on my way back, okay? Hey, Supergirl!” Sam leaned around Lena as she backpedaled towards the balcony.

 

Kara perked up from where she was in her seat, eyes going wide as she took in Sam’s new appearance.

 

“You do as Lena says, okay? Pizza will be here soon so just hang out here.”

 

“ _ Samantha Arias if you jump out that-” _

 

“Okay, gotta go!”

 

Sam shot her one last look of regret, slipped out onto the balcony, and launched herself into the black night sky. Lena had never had a stronger urge to throw a book after her. A very heavy book. A Merriam-Webster unabridged dictionary heavy book.

 

_ Great. _

 

_ Just. Great. _

 

_ Now you’re alone and who knows what could go wrong. _

 

Again, Lena sighed in defeat and turned back to Kara, trying her best to push aside her dejected thoughts. She started slouching off towards the shower again, waving a hand to beckon Kara along.

 

“Come on, let’s get you cleaned up.”

 

Kara rose from her seat curiously and half-walked half-floated after her. “What are we doing?”

 

“ _ You _ are getting in the shower.” Lena turned on more lights in the bedroom and wandered into the bathroom.

 

Kara followed after her and looked around, frowning when she caught sight of herself in the large mirror. “Ew.”

 

“Uh, yeah. I think you’ll feel better. So there’s soap and shampoo there. Turn the knob to the left to turn the water on, right to turn it off. That smaller dial is the temperature. Um. Okay. Let me know if you need anything, I’ll be in the main room.”

 

Lena spat out her instructions almost too quickly and high tailed it out of the bathroom, trying to stamp down the feelings that had been swirling out of control earlier and were threatening to creep back. She had just gotten back to the safe space of her temporary work table and was about to start pulling pieces of crushed technology apart when she heard Kara call out behind her.

 

“Lena?”

 

Her hands hovered over the crushed phone. “Yes?”

 

“I don’t know how to get out of this suit.”

 

If Lena could sink into the floor she would.

 

She turned around and found her best friend looking a little frustrated, boots ditched but still in her blue bodysuit and red skirt. Lena stifled another tired sigh, trying to keep her own frustrations in check for Kara’s sake, and beckoned her forward. Thankfully she didn’t need to call Alex or Winn, already knowing how her suit was fabricated thanks to her work on the life-support body armor she had developed for her. Lena turned Kara around, found the hidden clip of her belt and unfastened it. She also started the small hidden zipper in the middle of her back and tugged it down a couple inches, far enough that Kara should be able to reach. She made sure not to stare at the sliver of tan skin and toned muscle. Lena stepped back around to in front of Kara, her eyes in line with her nose as they stood barefoot in the living area. She dropped her gaze to her waist before she could look somewhere she shouldn’t.

 

“I’ll hang onto your belt. There are fastens for your skirt on the inside of your waistband here,” She pointed at one and then another spot on Kara’s hip. “-and here. You should be able to take everything else off without any trouble now.”

 

“Thank you.”

 

Kara’s voice was far softer than she was expecting and Lena chanced another look at her face. A pink blush was coloring her cheeks and her brow was furrowed. Blue eyes were glued to the floor and Lena could feel the embarrassment radiating off of her. A twinge of guilt made her heart lurch and she reached out, resting a hand on Kara’s elbow.

 

“Hey, I’m sorry if I made you feel uncomfortable.”

 

Kara swallowed thickly and nodded. “It-wasn’t you. I just.” She huffed a watery laugh. “I didn’t even know how to take this stupid thing off.”

 

Lena felt her shoulders slump and immediately felt the need to pull Kara into a hug, but her friend backed out of her reach towards the bedroom. Her friend that didn’t know her. Didn’t know that she could be scared and vulnerable with her.

 

“Um. Thanks, I, I’m gonna just. Yeah, sorry.”

 

She looked anywhere but Lena, her shoulder bumping into the doorframe, and then she disappeared into the dim bedroom. Lena heard the door to the bathroom quietly close and she stood there rooted to the spot, still a little bewildered at what had occured in the past couple minutes. She stayed there until the soft sound of the shower turning on jolted her from her whirl of thoughts. Now wasn’t the time to get all weird about Kara, she scolded herself. Lena decided there would be time later to address everything that was going on and started compartmentalizing her emotions and worries for the time being. She needed to start analyzing Kara’s phone and she needed to be on the lookout for the pizza delivery. Lena looked down at her dirty dress.

 

“I think I’ll change first…” She mumbled, and started into motion.

 

She had just pulled her sweatshirt over her head when the bathroom door clicked open.

 

“Lena?”

 

Kara’s voice was rough and it immediately drew her attention. She was half stepping out of the bathroom, half hidden by the door with one of the hotel’s fluffy white towels wrapped tightly around her torso. She was clean and mostly dry, but her long damp hair was pulled over one of her broad shoulders and dripping down her chest. If Lena hadn’t been so worried about the redness in her eyes she would have been distracted by the water droplets tracking down tan skin to disappear into the fluffy white fabric.

 

“What’s wrong?”

 

“I-nothing, um. What should I do with my suit?” She cleared her throat and tried to put on a more calm face. She was lying, but Lena wouldn’t push her.

 

“Just leave it for now, I’ll find a bag for it. Go get dressed and I’ll show you how to wrap your hair up with a towel.”

 

Kara nodded and gave her a weak smile in thanks before pulling back into the bathroom. Lena squeezed her eyes shut and stamped down the guilt that roiled in her stomach. It wasn’t her fault that Kara had lost her memory but for some reason she felt awful responsible for her wellbeing. She knew she was being stupid but it was hard  _ not _ to worry for her best friend. It was also getting more and more difficult to contain her raging hormones even as she discovered she had sobered up quite a bit. Maybe she needed another drink to beat that side of herself back into submission. Just for tonight anyways. Lena stopped and physically shook her head. No, she wouldn’t do that. Even if it  _ was _ appealing, it wasn’t responsible.

 

_ It’s JUST Kara. It’s just your friend. Sometimes you see your friends naked, it happens to everyone. You’ve seen Sam nearly naked on accident, this is the same thing. It happens. _

 

Lena took a deep breath and opened her eyes. There would be time to do the ridiculous school girl pining after Kara got better. It was terrible of her to think of her that way when she wasn’t completely herself. Lena shook herself from her second stupor. She needed to go find a plastic bag or something. She straightened out her pullover and padded from the room, feeling a bit more comfortable in a tee and pair of light leggings under the old sweatshirt she had pilfered from Kara a few months ago. By the time she located a plastic grocery bag and was carefully refolding the deep red cape after shaking the glass and dust from it, Kara appeared with a fresh towel around her shoulders dressed in the loaned clothes from Sam.

 

“There you are. Feel better?” She asked and turned to her.

 

“Yes, thank you.”

 

“Do you want me to help you wrap your hair up for a couple minutes?”

 

“Yeah, but, um.” She hesitated and held the towel a little tighter to her chest as she blushed. Kara hunched her shoulders forward a fraction and shifted her weight from one long lean leg to the other. “I didn’t have another one of those-” She gestured to her chest. “-things. I didn’t really want to put the other one back on, it smelled like dirt.”

 

It took a second, but it finally clicked. Lena blinked back a sudden barrage of thoughts and a surge of heat crawling up her neck. “Oh. Um. Here.”

 

She stripped off her sweatshirt and handed it to Kara. “This will fit and it’s a little thicker. It won’t give you support but it’s a little big. You can hide in it. Did, um, did Sam give you some clean underwear? Wait, she said she did, right?”

 

“Yes.”

 

Lena breathed a sigh of relief. At least she had that. She also didn’t tell her that is was technically her own sweatshirt, figuring it would be a little too much information. Kara took it from her with a grateful look and Lena turned away so she could move the towel and pull the sweatshirt on over her head. It didn’t take but a second and Kara was meekly thanking her again. Lena turned back and noticed she definitely looked more comfortable and was standing up straight. Kara held out the towel.

 

“How do I do the thing?”

 

Lena grinned. “Here, like this.”

 

* * *

 

Thankfully, Kara cheered up as Lena helped her dry and comb out her hair. She also liked watching Lena work on her phone, asking which pieces were which and what they did. Even with her memory loss, Kara was sharper than a tack and started venturing into more in depth questions on electrical engineering by the time a stack of six pizzas and double order of garlic bread arrived. Lena didn’t want anything else to eat but she picked up a slice of plain pepperoni and cheese anyways while Kara dug into an extra large covered in ham with a happy hum. It reminded Lena of their movie nights and the taste of pizza was enough to make her feel a little better about the entire wacky situation. Kara carefully worked her way through the entire pizza, still mumbling questions around each bite as Lena started checking to see if there was anything at all she could salvage. The more she pulled Kara’s phone apart, the more she realized she didn’t have anything to work with.

 

“Well, whatever zapped you was just energy. And you landed hard enough that this is just… pieces. So. I’ll just bag this up until I can analyze it at a molecular level.” Lena started mumbling to herself.

 

Lena continued to think aloud, and scooped up her phone. She started mulling over her thoughts and questions into a voice recording for her notes, picking over Kara’s destroyed device as she organized it into a few small plastic bags while listing out the damages to it.

 

“Maybe there’s a residue on the phone body that I can swab. But the initial bolt that struck Supergirl was  _ so purple _ . Was it a nitrogen-rich electricity to cause such a vibrantly ionized air-glow? How did they manage to contain it into a beam? Was it a particle beam? Did they use a form of Tesla coil? No, it was too direct of a bolt to be from a coil…”

 

She continued to voice her musings until she straightened up and paused. Kara was staring at her wide-eyed and entranced. When she met her gaze a blush blossomed across her face and she quickly looked away. A funny swoop in her stomach pulled Lena out of her thoughts and she ended the recording.

 

“What is it?”

 

“Nothing.”

 

It was too quick of an answer for it to be  _ nothing. _ Lena was about to ask her if she was okay but instead Kara hopped up from her perch on the kitchen chair and hustled into the kitchen area.

 

“Do you want more pizza? I think I want some more pizza.”

 

Lena let her go. Whatever it was, Kara didn’t want to talk about it. She had a very strong suspicion about what that something  _ was _ , but it wasn’t right to pursue it. Kara had never showed any interest in her past friendship and Lena wasn’t about to let a case of short term memory loss lull her into a false hope. That wouldn’t be fair to either one of them. Lena set down her phone and tweezers with a tired sigh and picked up the grocery bag holding Kara’s cape and belt.

 

“I’ll be right back.” She held up the bag when Kara glanced her way. “Can I bag up your suit?”

 

“Okay.”

 

It was the only answer she was able to get so she slipped back into the bedroom, intent on giving Kara a little space. Lena knew they were both a mess right now, tip toeing around each other and around the trauma that Kara was currently going through. If she could just make it through the next couple hours she was positive that Alex and her agents would take her back to National City to recover at the DEO, and she could go back to painfully stamping down her more-than-friendly feelings for her best friend. She had experienced blow after blow of weakness that evening and was feeling emotionally drained from the ordeal. She just needed to  hang on a little longer until she had the space and clarity of mind to try to go back to normal.

 

Kara had thankfully left the bathroom in a neat and orderly state and Lena found her soiled suit and underclothes folded neatly into a bundle. She slid it into the grocery bag and set it off to the side where her boots sat out of the way. She took a moment to wash the makeup off of her face and started brush her hair out. Lena frowned when she realized she was still a bit dusty and doubled back out to the living room. A wave of relief passed through her when she found the familiar frame of Sam leaning against the counter with a slice of pizza in her hands. Kara was back in her seat by the table, still refusing to look too closely at Lena. Her feet stopped just at the door frame, a weird feeling that she would be encroaching on them holding her back.

 

“Oh good, you’re back. What did you find?”

 

Sam looked up and swallowed her mouthful. “Nothing. Whatever was out there is gone now. I’ve looked all over the city.”

 

“Ah… well. I’m going to get cleaned up.”

 

Sam gave her a thumbs up and took another bite of her pizza. Kara didn’t look at her. Lena retreated back into the dim bedroom, gathered up some clean underwear, and locked herself away in the bathroom.

 

* * *

 

Lena allowed herself to wallow in her feelings for a total of fifteen minutes while she washed the concrete dust out of her hair. She emerged into the living area feeling much better but still a little strung out. And definitely exhausted. Sam was on the phone watching Kara tinker with an old radio that she must have gone out of her way to find for her. Her friend was using her tools to meticulously take it apart bit by bit, examining each part and practicing her control over her super strength. She briefly worried for the state of her tools but decided keeping Kara occupied was more important. She could always replace broken tools. She couldn’t replace Kara.

 

“Hey Alex, hang on a second? Thanks.” Same held her phone into her shoulder and turned to Lena. “She wasn’t interested in television so I found her something to do.”

 

“Good, thank you. Do you know how much longer they’ll be?” Lena asked, covering a wide yawn with her hand. She scrunched her nose to readjust her glasses.

 

“Two more hours. Why don’t you go lay down for a bit? I’ll stay with her.”

 

Lena met her friend’s gaze and nearly cowered under the knowing look. But she took the lifeline and again retreated back into the bedroom, pulling the door closed to a crack behind her. She knew she was being pathetic but she couldn’t help it. Lena took a detour to brush her teeth and then crawled into bed with a tired sigh. She somehow managed to wriggle underneath the covers and get her glasses onto the bedside table.

 

Bit by bit, Lena relaxed into the soft bed, frowning into the pillow as the muscles around her spine ached with the sudden change of posture. She could hear the soft murmur of Sam’s voice in the room over and the quiet sounds of Kara messing with the radio. She tried not to dwell on the issues that had been chasing after her that evening and focused on her breathing. In for four, hold for seven, out for eight. Slow and steady until her mind finally started to quiet and she began to drift into a light doze.

 

She didn’t  _ really _ fall asleep. The low uneven cadence of Sam’s one-sided conversation was a low hum that brought back odd memories of her childhood. Her childhood before the Luthors. She imagined that she was in her little bed listening to the television down the hall late at night while her mother wound down from the day. The bunched up covers around her arms reminded her of her old, big stuffed teddy squished to her chest. Even in her foggy half-awake state, Lena still imagined she could hear the eerie synthesizers of the X Files theme song. Her brain played tricks on her, made her listen to the barely there memory of her mother singing. Of sea salt and briney ocean spray a heavy tang on the back of her tongue. Of Kara calling her name.

 

“ _ Lena. _ ”

 

Lena rose up a little out of her doze and rolled onto her back. Her mind needed to calm down, there was only so much energy she had to deal with concerning her annoying and unfortunate attraction to her best friend.

 

“Lena.”

 

Except that it  _ wasn’t _ her mind playing tricks on her because that definitely was Kara and it was  _ definitely _ coming from right above her. Lena cracked her eyes open and nearly jumped out of her skin when her vision focused on the floating black form of a person hovering a scant two feet above her. She bodily flinched in a knee-jerk response and sucked in a ragged breath as her heart leapt into her throat, her hands clenching the covers tightly to her chest. Lena thought her jolt of fear was going to make her heart stop. Her sudden movement startled Kara too and she rapidly zipped up to the ceiling with a squeak, her back thumping dully into the surface and the light fixture rattled from the force.

 

“Sorry! I’m sorry!”

 

There were quick footsteps and Sam strode into the room, eyes aglow. “What is it? What happened? Wh-why are you on the ceiling?”

 

The tension drained from Sam’s shoulders as she looked up at Kara starfished against the white plaster in confusion. The telltale red-white glow of her heat vision faded from her eyes and she propped her hands on her hips.

 

“It’s okay, she just scared me a little.” Lena rasped, throwing an arm over her face as she tried to calm her racing heart. “Everything’s fine.”

 

She heard Sam sigh. “Kara, come down from there, we should let Lena rest.”

 

There was a pause, and then in the smallest voice,

 

“But I wanna know what Tesla coils are.”

 

“We can use the laptop out here.”

 

“But I want  _ Lena _ to tell me.”

 

“Kara, don’t make me come up there-”

 

“ _ QUIET _ .”

 

The room fell silent at Lena’s raised shout. She sighed deeply and resigned herself to the fact that if she didn’t want two overpowered aliens squabbling like children in her bedroom, then she would have to postpone her rest. Lena raised her free hand and beckoned Kara down.

 

“C’mere.”

 

“Lena, you should rest.”

 

“I know. I’ll rest later.”

 

The mattress dipped next to her and Lena peeked out from under her elbow. Kara was sitting next to her with her legs folded up criss cross in front of her and at least had the audacity to look chastised. She gave Lena an apologetic look and promised Sam that she would leave Lena alone if she asked. Sam huffed and threw her hands up in defeat.

 

“You’re worse than my teenager. Let me know if you need anything.”

 

Sam trudged from the room and pulled the door partially shut again. Lena took a deep fortifying breath and patted the mattress next to her. Kara scooted closer.

 

“Okay. Tesla coils. They were invented by a man named Nikola Tesla in the eighteen-nineties and they are classified as electrical resonant transformer circuits…”

 

Lena spent the next nearly two hours telling Kara everything she wanted to know about Tesla coils and then some, but only after giving her a brief rundown on what electricity actually was. They moved from electrical resonant transformer circuits to lighting, x-rays, alternating current phenomena, and wireless electrical transmission. They circled back to solid state Tesla coils and got stuck on oscillation frequency for a good twenty minutes. Lena had to hustle them on to output voltage when Kara sank down onto the bed and rested her head on Lena’s stomach. It wasn’t the most ideal position for Lena to be in but  _ god _ she didn’t have the heart to tell her to move. It was always refreshing to talk to Kara about science, but there was something truly special about being able to tell her,  _ teach _ her, about something she didn’t know. Well. Had forgotten. And if Kara wanted to treat Lena as a pillow while she listened then so be it. If she wanted to look at Lena like she had stars in her eyes  _ then so be it _ . Lena would grant herself this one night of weakness to blind her with science before she could remember who she was. It would be a tender death.

 

“Can you tell me about the ones that sing?”

 

Lena looked down at her, a spark of excitement jumping in her chest. “I hadn’t mentioned those yet.”

 

Realization dawned on Kara’s face like a rising sun as her fingers curled into the blankets draped over Lena’s stomach.

 

“I  _ remembered _ something.”

 

“You’re getting better.” Lena grinned.

 

A wild grin split Kara’s face and she squirmed in place, mussing her hair on her hip. “ _ I remembered something!! _ ”

 

Kara’s happiness was infectious and a soft laugh bubbled out of Lena’s chest. Her friend squirmed onto her stomach and draped a bent arm over Lena’s waist. She proper her chin up on her wrist, sweatshirt twisted around her torso.

 

“But I only know those are just for fun.”

 

Lena didn’t know what it was. Maybe it was her messy hair or the way Sam’s borrowed shorts rode up lean thighs. Or maybe it was her body weight on her stomach or just the soft open look of trust she was giving her.

 

Lena  _ ached _ to kiss her.

 

“Yeah. Just for fun.”

 

She told Kara about the singing Tesla coils. When just trying to explain them wasn’t enough Lena pulled her phone off the bedside table and queued up youtube. She played Kara video after video of staticky gnarly rock and roll roaring from electrical frequencies. It was how Sam found them half an hour later with Kara’s head tucked under Lena’s chin as they hummed along quietly to  _ House Of the Rising Sun _ .

 

“Hey, they’ll be here in a few minutes.”

 

The warm little bubble that Lena had constructed around herself popped and the disappointing return to reality sank back into her bones.

 

“Oh. Okay. Thanks Sam.”

 

Sam ducked back out and Lena checked the time on her phone after the video ended. She sighed when it read ten after one in the morning. She was a little frustrated that she hadn’t been able to rest much, but she didn’t think she’d trade the time spent with Kara for anything.

 

“Time to get up, your doctor will be here soon.”

 

She felt Kara sigh against her. “This is so nice though.”

 

The soft content note in her voice tugged at Lena’s heart and she wanted nothing more than to stay in bed with her for a few more hours. It also took most of her self control not to turn her face and press a kiss into the top of her head. But she knew they had to rise and started shifting to get up. Kara pushed up onto her elbow and looked down at her curiously. She was very close and  _ very _ attractive in the low lighting. The soft light from the main room cast the angle of her cheekbone and jaw into relief and Lena could have easily closed the distance to the bow of her lips.

 

“Your heart is beating really fast.”

 

Lena swallowed down a blush and wriggled sideways and out from under a too-close Kara. “Just a little worried about you. That’s all.”

 

Kara followed her closely, stumbling out of the bed and tumbling into a mid-air tumble. She righted herself with a blush. “Still trying to figure out these stupid powers.”

 

Lena turned the bedside light up and slid her glasses back onto her face, putting even more distance in between them.

 

“I’d say you’re doing pretty well for a bull in a china shop.”

 

“A who in a what, now?”

 

“I… it’s a figure of speech.” Lena ushered her out and into the living area.

 

Sam distracted Kara with another few slices of cold pizza from the fridge and offered Lena a mug of tea. Just as Kara was finishing up her late night snack, she perked up and turned to watch the door to the hotel room. A few minutes later Lena heard the muffled sound of heavy boots coming down the hall from her seat on the couch and Sam hopped to her feet. A moment later, black-clad and combat ready agents were slowly flooding into the room with a very worried Alex on Sam’s heels.

 

“Secure the room.”

 

Kara froze and watched wide eyed as the agents fanned out into the suite around her. It was a whirl of activity and Lena abruptly found Kara squishing into the couch next to her with a worried furrow in her brow. She carefully shifted her half-drunk mug of tea away from the nervous Kryptonian and patted her gently on the knee leaning into her thigh.

 

“It’s okay, they’re just making sure we’re safe.”

 

Kara shot her a worried glance and continued to keep track of the new people walking through the space. Alex was watching her closely from a couple feet away as Sam quietly filled her in on her fruitless patrol and how they had been watching after her. Kara kept shifting, kept keeping her eyes on as many people as she could, and it was then that Lena realized that she was attempting to be a shield between her and the agents. Warmth spread through her chest and she reached out, placing her hand flat between tense shoulder blades. She didn’t say anything, but the simple touch made a fraction of the tension in Kara’s shoulders ease. It didn’t stop her from observing the living area and noting where the new agents were, but she did calm. Lena continued to nurse her tea as Sam and Alex looked over some data on a tablet for a moment. She was staring blankly at the coffee table absentmindedly rubbing her hand against Kara’s back when she turned and leaned into her.

 

“ _ Do I know her?” _

 

The low melodic syllables of Kryptonian were whispered close to her face and Lena blinked back a startled blush. She just nodded, filing away the fact for the moment that Kara remembered her native language again. She felt Kara sigh against her and shift back, but not away. Her body pushed Lena into the couch but in her exhausted state she quickly found that she didn’t mind. One of the agents, a woman, brought a large black duffle bag into the room and Alex directed her to put it on the coffee table in front of the couch. Kara tensed again against her as she approached. Lena recognized the agent, Vasquez, and held up her mug to catch her attention. The woman slowed, her brows raising as she took in Kara’s body language.

 

“This is Agent Vasquez. She’s just bringing that bag over.” Lena told Kara lowly.

 

Kara didn’t relax this time, but watched the agent put the bag down and slowly back away, keeping her hands visible. A gnawing worry started in the pit of Lena’s stomach and she turned her head in towards her best friend.

 

“ _ What’s wrong? You weren’t this worried with the Paramedics.” _

 

Kara didn’t look at her. “ _ They’re all armed.” _

 

Worried realization dawned on Lena. “ _ What are you remembering?” _

 

Kara was silent, but her expression pulled down low and haunted. Lena curled her hand protectively over her shoulder and sat with her, deciding not to press. A moment later Alex finally approached, her brow furrowed in worry and she kept her movements slow and deliberate.

 

“Kara? It’s me. Alex.” She sat down gingerly on the edge of the coffee table a few feet away.

 

Kara didn’t say anything for a long moment, her attention still focused on the agents around the room. At that point Lena cleared her throat and spoke up.

 

“Alex, I think Kara would feel safer if the other DEO agents were patrolling outside.”

 

Alex studied them for a long moment, looked back at Sam who subtly nodded in agreement, and then sighed. Alex could see Kara’s visible skittishness, something that she rarely saw in her sister, and decided to err on the side of her comfort. Alex relented.

 

“Set up a perimeter outside the suite. Vasquez, you stay with me.”

 

There was a quiet chorus of  _ yes ma’am _ and most of the agents filed out while a few slipped out onto the balcony. In under a minute, the suite was nearly cleared out except for the five of them. Kara sagged against Lena.

 

“ _ Thank you.” _

 

It was barely a whisper, but just loud enough for Lena to hear it. She squeezed Kara to her for a brief moment in response, and then started sitting up. Kara shifted and let her, but slid behind her on the couch, this time letting Lena be in front of her.

 

“This is Alex. Your sister and your doctor. She’s going to check you over, okay?”

 

Lena could see how exhausted Kara was through her posture and her drawn expression. For a moment she thought she was going to refuse, but she pressed her lips together in a determined line and sat up. Throughout the moment, Alex had been watching her carefully with sad eyes.

 

“My sister?”

 

Lena saw a brief flash of hurt in Alex’s face but her expression remained neutral. The agent leaned her elbows forward on her knees and turned her attention to Kara.

 

“Yes. I know it’s probably a little weird, but just hang on for a bit and then we can talk. Is it okay if I flash some lights in your eyes and check your heart? I promise I’ll be quick and I’ll tell you what I’m doing.”

 

A muscle jumped in Kara’s jaw but she nodded. “Okay.”

 

Alex sat up and reached for the duffle bag, slipping into her Doctor’s professionalism. “Good, thank you. Have you slept at all since you hit your head?”

 

“No. But I want to.”

 

Alex visibly relaxed. “Okay. Well, let me see what’s going on and then hopefully we can let you take a nap.”

 

Alex checked Kara’s vitals, the dilation of her pupils, quizzed her about how she felt, if anything had gotten worse or better, what she remembered. Kara answered to the best of her ability, only visibly bristling when Alex pressed the cool metal of her stethoscope to her chest under her shirt. She did become frustrated the more Alex asked of her and the less she could answer. Lena stayed right next to her, only leaning back if Alex needed a little more room. She also had Sam collect the bloody tissue from her purse to be disposed of properly. It was probably one of the quickest checkups that Lena had ever seen and soon Alex was putting her tools back into her duffle. She pulled out a smaller duffle bag and set it to Kara on the couch.

 

“Clothes and toiletries. I won’t run blood work until we get back to the DEO but if we leave in the next hour we can be back before sunrise.”

 

The tired posture Kara had sunk into stiffened again. She leaned back and away from Alex and tried to shuffle behind Lena.

 

“No.”

 

Alex frowned. “Kara, we need to get you back-”

 

“No. I want to stay here.”

 

Sam approached and knelt down in front of the couch. “I know this is scary, but it’s the safest choice. We need to get you back to National City.”

 

As Sam was speaking, Lena felt a hand curl and tighten in the back of her t-shirt. Kara refused again and Lena knew that this hinged on more than just distrust.

 

“Kara? Sam and Alex want what’s best and safest for you.”

 

“...I know.”

 

“Can you tell me what’s bothering you?”

 

Kara shifted in closer behind her. “What if I hurt someone?”

 

Lena set her empty mug down on the coffee table and twisted to face Kara, feeling her shirt slide around her torso as she kept hold of it.

 

“I know you won’t. You’re already doing very well with your powers and Sam will be there to help you.”

 

“But what if someone tries to hurt me again and I’m not myself? What if I can’t protect them?”

 

Lena sagged and she frowned in worry.

 

“ _ What if I can’t protect you?” _

 

Emotion swooped in Lena’s chest and heat crawled up the back of her neck when she saw Sam duck her head out of the corner of her eye. It was too tender of a moment and Kara didn’t know that everyone except Vasquez had understood what she had said. Lena sighed and leaned a little closer to Kara, but still kept her at a reasonable distance. A friendly distance.

 

“ _ Have more faith in yourself, darling. You always sell yourself short.” _

 

Kara’s face crumpled. “I still don’t want to.”

 

“Do you want to stay with me? I have to work tomorrow but I’ll be back in the evening.”

 

The question was out before she could turn the conversation back over to Alex and immediately the kryptonian perked up. She heard a tired sigh from behind her as the agent rose to her feet.

 

“I need to make a phone call.”

 

Alex was up and out onto the balcony before Lena could apologize for making her job more difficult, recognizing the tense set of her shoulders. She shot Sam a furtive glance and blushed when she met warm brown eyes staring at her. There was a sadness in them underneath the teasing glint, and she turned away back to a wide eyed Kara.

 

“Do you want any more pizza?

 

It took some finagling on Alex’s part, but she managed to convince J’onn to let Kara stay for now. And because Kara refused to leave Lena, that meant that Alex refused to leave too. It was too late at night and she was too weary to consider logistics on where the agents would stay and resigned herself to an odd sleeping arrangement. Alex was back before she knew it and was in and out of the suite for the next half hour while she, Kara, and Sam sank further and further into the couch cushions. It was creeping on three in the morning and Lena longed to sleep. She was already dreading her morning meeting in almost six hours.

 

“I can play hooky tomorrow. Go to sleep, Lena.”

 

Sam’s quiet offer was a lifeline and she gladly rose unsteadily to her feet. She didn’t get very far with Kara’s hands still twisted in the back of her shirt and she sat back down with a tired  _ oof _ . Sam sighed and nudged Kara in the shoulder as she called tiredly over the back of the couch.

 

“Hey Alex, I need Lena to go to bed. Can you let Kara take a nap too? Or we’ll never get off the couch.”

 

A frazzled and tired looking Alex emerged from her pacing in the kitchen and nodded. “Go ahead, I’ll have to check on her in a few hours.”

 

Relief seeped into her chest and Lena managed to successfully sit up against the pull of her shirt. She twisted and grabbed a fistful of Kara’s sweatshirt on the shoulder and heaved. She wasn’t sure how she did it, but she got them to their feet.

 

“C’mon. Time to sleep for a bit. Let’s go brush our teeth.”

 

Kara mumbled something tiredly and let Lena tow her back into the bedroom after wishing Sam a warm goodnight and a promise to shout if something happened. Lena walked Kara through brushing her teeth with minimal trouble and herded her to the bed. While her back was turned she quickly stripped off her bra with a sigh.

 

“You like the right side.”

 

“Are you saying that so you can sleep on the left?”

 

It was a brief glimpse of Kara’s teasing personality she had with her and it brought her up short. Whatever this was between them, it wouldn’t last. Kara would remember who she was and this… almost flirting. This clinging. It would vanish and Lena would be back to pining for her attention again. She mentally kicked herself back into motion. She couldn’t let Kara know. Couldn’t lead her on. It wouldn’t be fair.

 

“Well, I am left handed.” She said instead and climbed into the sheets.

 

“I guess that’s fair.”

 

They settled and Lena switched the lights off. She was rapidly falling into another doze as her day finally caught up to her, the bed so large she couldn’t really tell that there was another body on the mattress.

 

“Hey Lena?”

 

This time the whisper came from her right, muffled by a pillow a few moments later. She hummed softly in response.

 

“Thanks.”

 

Lena sighed. “Good night, Kara.”


	2. Part Two: Quantum Entanglement and Burger Interventions

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Teen rating for language and alcohol mention. And stupid idiots.
> 
> Here we are with part two! I always miscalculate how much time I need for editing, so thank you for your patience. I hope you enjoy the second half of this mess as much as the first, and a special shout out to contagiousiridescence for unintentionally helping me title this fic. I forgot to mention her last week and it felt appropriate to do so now!
> 
> Thank you so much for reading, have a lovely weekend! <3

Lena woke up warm and somewhat relaxed with her alarm at six, despite the fact she had barely gotten three hours of sleep. She still felt draggy and desperately needed a drink of water, but surprisingly she didn’t feel like death. Perhaps it had to do with the warm pliant body pressed tightly into her back and the relaxed arm over her waist.

 

Oh.

 

_ Oh. _

 

Lena went from roughly groggy to the equivalent of that one time she chugged about eight shots of Italian espresso in two minutes. She could feel  _ everything. _ The breath warming her in puffs through the thin material of her shirt at the nape of her neck. One arm curled loosely against her back while the other draped heavily, protectively, across her stomach. The long line of contact down her body, to the warm press of hips against her rear and one lean muscled thigh loosely tangled in between her own legs. Thankfully, that thigh wasn’t  _ too _ close but Lena could certainly imagine it being so. Which was a dangerous thought. She took a deep breath and started inching away from Kara. There was no time for her to wallow, and it definitely wasn't the wisest option to do so. Even though she  _ really _ wanted to.

 

“ _ Mmph. _ ”

 

If Lena wasn’t awake before, Kara’s sudden refusal to let go and the response to pull her flush to her body would have certainly done the trick. Unfortunately for her, it wasn’t just to pull her back to where she had been, but maybe even a little closer. But no, it wasn’t just closer. There was no space between them anymore and heat raced up her spine as that thigh she had just dodged pressed firmly in between her legs. Lena hated to think how long it had been since someone had held her this intimately, how it woke up something else that she didn’t have time to address. She took a few steadying breaths and tried not to focus on the hand that had slid up her stomach and pressed flat on her ribs, dangerously close to the swell of her chest.

 

“Kara.” She murmured, tapping on the wrist she could reach.

 

A warm nose pressed into the nape of her neck in response.

 

“I need you to let go, I need to get up.”

 

“Five more minutes?”

 

Lena squeezed her eyes shut as she felt her lips move against the neckline of her shirt. It wasn’t  _ fair _ .

 

“I need to go to work.”

 

Kara sighed heavily against her but her hold fell slack. “Kay.”

 

Lena quickly slipped from the bed and left Kara to sleep a bit longer, beating back the unbidden heat racing under her skin. She changed quickly into some athletic wear and slipped from the bedroom. Alex was snoring softly from the couch and she tiptoed out onto the balcony with her yoga mat. The agents stationed out there quickly left before she could subject them to her full boardroom glare. Lena spent a solid half hour working her way through some of her more intense yoga poses, trying to exercise the sudden jolt of energy to a more manageable level. By the time she relented due to time constraints, she had sweated through her tank top in the warm early morning. Lena felt a little better, but definitely ready for a cool shower and some caffeine. As she slipped back in, the agents went out, and Alex waved sleepily from the kitchen in front of the percolating coffee pot.

 

“Just checked on her, she remembers more but not as much as I hoped.”

 

Lena thanked her quietly and slipped back into the bedroom. Kara had gradually crept over onto Lena’s side of the bed and cocooned herself to the point where she only could see a shock of wild blonde curls. Not wanting to bother her, Lena gathered up her outfit for the day and quickly cleaned up. By the time she emerged freshly showered and changed with her makeup applied, Kara hadn’t moved. She tiptoed around the room, scooped up what she needed for the day including a different pair of heels that weren’t covered in concrete dust, and left her best friend to sleep. Alex had left a full mug of steaming hot black coffee for her on the counter and she sipped it gratefully. She could hear the agent speaking quietly out on the balcony and pulled the extensive room service menu out of it’s drawer. Over the next few minutes she texted Sam for breakfast, ordered enough from the hotel to not only feed two hungry Kryptonians but about eight humans as well, and requested an in-person meeting with the head manager. Sam arrived a few moments later looking freshly showered and a little tired in comfy clothing.

 

“Morning.”

 

“Hi. Coffee’s over there.” Lena pointed and started scrolling through her emails. She frowned at the frantic notifications from Jess, realizing that she had forgotten to fill her in.

 

“Erm. I’m going to call Jess. I ordered breakfast, it should be here soon.”

 

Sam waved her off and shuffled towards the coffee pot. Lena braced herself and settled in front of her laptop on the kitchen table next to a completely disassembled radio. Jess of course picked up before the first ring could complete and  _ of course _ gave Lena an immediate earful of how worried she was.

 

“ _ It was All. Over. The News. The PR team has been at my throat trying to get answers and if I don’t get one to them NOW then you might need a new secretary, and not because I’d quit!” _

 

“Tell them that due to obvious legal reasons I cannot disclose any details other than I am unharmed if a little sleep deprived. I will be going about my business as usual today and I am still on schedule to return to National City tomorrow. Anything related to Supergirl falls under the DEO’s jurisdiction, and they should  _ know _ that by now. If they give you any more trouble tell me.”

 

Jess was silent for a long moment. “ _ Is she okay?” _

 

Lena took a long sip of coffee. “A little rattled, but she’s fine.”

 

Jess breathed a sigh of relief into the receiver and then launched into other concerns, straying further and further from last night’s excitement and easing Lena into more familiar territory. Business issues and internal L Corp issues were much more her speed. They covered a variety of topics until room service showed up almost half an hour later. Lena promised to be in touch later and hung up as Sam ushered the trolleys into the suite. Marching behind them was a prim middle aged woman of asian decent, dressed smartly in one of the best tailored pants suits Lena had ever seen.

 

“Good morning, Miss Luthor. I am Mrs. Saitou, acting Manager. How may my staff and I assist you today?”

 

She was well spoken and firmly polite without any of the usual simpering many people tended to show her. Lena immediately liked her.

 

“Good morning. I’m afraid I may have invited unwanted attention into your establishment. I am hoping that I can expect the highest discretion for doing so.”

 

The Manager tilted her head in acquiescence as a smiled tugged at her lips. “I assure you, Miss Luthor, that you and your new guests will be afforded the best to be offered.”

 

While she was speaking, Alex wandered in from the balcony, boots clomping and equipment on her belt quietly jangling. She cut a sleek form in her body armored suit and styled hair as an air of importance radiated off of her.

 

“Allow me to introduce Agent Danvers. She and her team will be needing accommodations if possible.”

 

“Yes, of course. We have rooms available.”

 

“Any and all expenses will be reimbursed through our agency.” Alex handed the Manager a small business card. “Please call that number soon so that we may work out the logistics.”

 

“Of course, thank you Agent Danvers. Is there anything else that I can do for you?”

 

“Our legal department will also be in touch. But for now, I think we’re fine.”

 

“If you ever find yourself needing anything, please call me.” Mrs. Saitou handed her own business card to Alex. “Have a wonderful day, Agent. Miss Luthor.”

 

She gave them a polite nod and started towards the door and her dutifully waiting employees. One of them whispered something to her that made her stop and pause. They exchanged a few words and she turned around, another polite and almost somber smile on her face.

 

“I am so sorry to ask, but my employees and I are worried about Supergirl. Is she alright?”

 

Lena took a sip of her coffee and turned slightly towards Alex in difference.

 

“She’s fine, but she’s sleeping. Thank you for your concern.”

 

The was a visible reaction of relief from the maids and Mrs. Saitou as well. “That is wonderful to hear. If she has any needs please don’t hesitate to call.”

 

“We will, thank you.”

 

The Manager and her team exited swiftly and Sam wandered over to one of the carts.

 

“Lena, please tell me you ordered bacon?”

 

* * *

 

Unfortunately Lena’s mild attitude didn’t stand a chance against the bullshit of the corporate world. Her day was long and draining, made doubly difficult by people constantly asking her about Supergirl and the night before. Her only saving grace was that Jess’s quick work with her PR team helped head off much of the suspicion that could have caused issues in later meetings that afternoon. It still didn’t make her job any easier and by the time seven in the evening rolled around she was exhausted. Five meetings, two conference calls, and no less than eight verbal dress downs later her day was finally over. She was really feeling the lack of sleep as she took her town car back to the hotel, intent on changing into comfy clothes, letting her hair down, eating something, and going promptly to sleep.

 

Sam had kept her up to date on how Kara was doing and Lena had to admit she was a bit jealous. Kara had slept most of the day away, but not in a way that was concerning. She was still lucid, in no pain except for a few passing headaches, and was gradually remembering things about her life. According to Sam, Kara claimed that she was just recharging and spent the entire afternoon on the balcony snoozing in the sun. Lena did often refer to the two of them as solar powered batteries and wasn’t surprised in the slightest. Kara had also started remembering Alex, much to everyone’s relief. Lena didn’t know how long she would have been able to put up with the Danvers sisters essentially split. They were extremely close and it was painful watching Alex the night before, missing her sister. Her distress had been palpable and now knowing that particular hurdle was being vaulted felt like a much needed win. To be truthful, it was incredible how her powers were speeding up her healing process. Lena had worried that this particular injury might have been an exception, but thankfully Kara was bouncing back from it just as quickly as she had hoped.

 

Lena nearly dozed off in the back seat but the car rolled to a stop just in time under the hotel portico. She sighed, gathered up her purse and briefcase, thanked the driver and climbed out of the vehicle. There were paparazzi crowding the hotel entrance but thankfully there were also four DEO agents waiting for her. They created a path for her and she was quickly inside, only partially blinded by the bright pop-flash of the cameras. None of the other patrons bothered her but there were whispers and stares and Lena wished she was invisible. Dealing with unwanted questions she couldn’t legally answer was  _ not _ what she wanted to be dealing with. What she really wanted was to be curled up in bed with Kara wrapped around her again. Lena sighed and piled into the elevator with the four agents. She didn’t know any of them personally, but made polite conversation all the same.

 

The ride was thankfully short but the walk down the long hall seemed to stretch on forever. Finally, Lena was keying into her suit and stepping out of her heels with a tired sigh. She heard an excited noise, the thump of rapid footsteps, and then was nearly bowled over and enveloped by a warm body. She recognized the person immediately as Kara and her heart skipped right over alarm to relief. It felt good to be back with people who actually liked her and didn’t see her as the spawn of evil. Kara smelled like her shampoo and clean laundry and Lena gladly wrapped her arms around the excited woman.

 

“You’re back!!”

 

“I”m back. What have you been up to today?”

 

Kara just squeaked a happy noise and buried her face in the crook of Lena’s neck. That familiar tugging ache in the center of her chest made itself known again but Lena kicked it away and just squeezed her best friend tighter. It was then that she heard odd crinkling and started pulling back.

 

“Kara, what- _ oh my god. _ ”

 

Lena couldn’t help but burst into helpless laughter at the sight of her. Her forearms, chest, and face were plastered with clean and unwrapped sanitary pads. Wings and all. Lena  _ really _ couldn’t stop laughing because as soon as Kara started grinning Sam appeared looking equally as ridiculous. It was almost as if they had looked at pictures of body armor and stuck it to themselves to mimic the padding and Lena had to look away to attempt to get herself under control.

 

“ _ What _ is going  _ on? _ ” She asked through bouts of laughter, her face aching and her eyes watering.

 

“I look cool  _ and _ I’m better protected!” Kara struck an action pose with a goofy smile.

 

“We may have gotten bored earlier and looked at the stuff under the bathroom sink.” Sam answered ruefully. But she didn’t look at all like she regretted it.

 

“I’m sorry I missed the fun.” Lena grinned and smoothed out one of Sam’s shoulder pads.

 

“Oh! We have  _ food. _ ” Kara exclaimed, and started leading Lena further into the suite.

 

“Food? A singular food?”

 

“Noooo.  _ Food. _ ”

 

Kara showed her the small kitchen area and Lena realized what she meant. “ _ Oh. _ Yes, we do.”

 

Gobs of it.

 

Pizza. Italian. Chinese. Burgers. A mountain of french fries. An entire fruit platter. And a stack of salads. It was quite literally enough to feed a force of twenty. With two Kryptonians and at least eight people, Lena hoped it would be enough.

 

“I couldn’t decide what I wanted so I just said yes.”

 

“I can see that.”

 

“But don’t worry! Alex says J’onn payed for it because it’s for the other agents too. But I wouldn’t let them eat until you got back.”

 

Lena was oddly touched by the gesture. “You have my permission to eat. I’m going to go change, but you can set aside one of those salads for me.”

 

Kara leaned into her shoulder with a conspiratorial look, appearing even more ridiculous with pads stuck to her face and her hair up in a messily braided crown.

 

“I’ll save you some french fries.”

 

Her best friend bounded away and a surge of affection warmed her. Before she could move a lean arm slung around her shoulders as Sam wrapped her up in a half hug.

 

“She’s doing a lot better but she did sleep most of the day. There’s a lot she still doesn’t remember but she knows who Alex is now. I think I told you that earlier? I can’t remember, she’s difficult to corral. I don’t think Ruby was ever this difficult…”

 

Lena leaned into her for a moment. “Even if you did, I’m glad she’s doing better. Any new leads on who, or what, she went up against?”

 

“Leads point to one of Superman’s villain flavor-of-the-week asshats, but nothing concrete. Alex is hoping he’ll call her back soon but you know how spotty interstellar communication can be.”

 

“You know you  _ always _ say that and I never really believe you. I still have to keep reminding myself that we can actually  _ do _ that now. Talk  _ quickly _ across quadrants of the universe. We were just barely on Mars and Venus with rovers.”

 

“Try not to break your nerd brain thinking about it.”

 

Lena scoffed and shoved Sam away. “Too late. I’ll be back.”

 

“Okay, Terminator.”

 

Lena just glared half heartedly and ventured into the bedroom. She dressed down and returned to the living area, gladly humoring Kara and sitting next to her on the couch. Alex was munching half heartedly on some noodles as she hovered over the coffee table strewn with tablets and two laptops displaying medical records and sheets of data. There was a single sanitary pad stuck to her forehead sideways, curling forward in a white foamy U like a pair of horns. Lena gave Sam a questioning look and she only smiled around her mouthful with a half shrug.

 

Dinner was a fun affair as Kara filled her in on her day. At one point Sam brought her a generous glass of scotch to go with her dinner and Lena sank further and further into the couch as she relaxed. There was still a chance she had to postpone her flight back in the morning due to unresolved issues that had come up in her last meeting of the day, but for now she chose to just enjoy her time with her friends. Watching Kara animatedly recount what it was like to learn  _ cool stuff _ from Alex was entertainment in its purest form. Lena loved how her face lit up and how her hands helped her talk. She was becoming more and more of her old self and Lena hadn’t realized how much she had missed her in such a short time.

 

“-and  _ then _ I really started remembering Alex!” Kara gestured excitedly with a foamy crinkle. “I remember pieces of high school, which sucked. A liiiitle bit of college, which was kinda better. And then hanging out like we are right now! And Alex getting mad at me for telling a waitress in Noonan’s that I’m an alien after I ordered a lot of sticky buns.”

 

“I’m still mad at you for that.” Alex mumbled around her chopsticks.

 

Kara stuck her tongue out at her. Lena picked up the french fries that Kara had brought her.

 

“How many was that?”

 

Kara shrugged and stuffed her third burger in her mouth. Alex answered with a deadpan  _ six _ . Lena just shook her head and crammed a few fries in her mouth. She hadn’t had french fries in a few months and she probably ate them faster than she meant to.

 

“Hey Lena?”

 

“Hmmm?”

 

“Did you know that your eyes are different colors?”

 

“She’s been going on about that all day.” Sam stage-whispered.

 

“Well it’s  _ true! _ ”

 

“So you have said.” Sam teased and chucked a fry across the living room.

 

Lena and Alex watched them squabble for a minute and returned to their own meals. There was no use in trying to stop them until they were ready and Lena was ducking a flurry of fries that quickly turned into a leisurely game of them trying to see how many they could toss into each other’s mouths. It kept them occupied until their fries ran out, which gave Lena enough time to finish her own hoarded fries until Kara settled back into the couch with a curious look.

 

“Hey, Lena?”

 

Lena smiled over the rim of her glass. “Hey, Kara?”

 

“Can you tell me something cool about science?”

 

Lena studied her for a minute, and then she remembered one of the first things she had asked her before she knew Kara was Supergirl.

 

“What do you know about quantum entanglement?”

 

Kara didn’t remember so Lena gladly told her. At some point Sam excused herself to call Ruby and Alex disappeared onto the balcony to give J’onn another call about something she thought could be a lead into Kara’s encounter. Lena’s simple lecture on quantum entanglement segued into paradox, then to the mystery of time. It was all in all a very heady subject and Kara paid close attention, only distracting herself for a moment to peel off the sanitary pads. Lena didn’t know how much time had passed, her empty scotch glass and slowly dwindling water her only measurement. She didn’t mind though and talked until her eyes began to droop. She paused when Kara’s expression started to soften from her inquisitive perkiness.

 

“What is it?”

 

“Quantum entanglement. Do you think it can apply to more than just particles?”

 

Lena shifted and sat up a bit. “I’m not sure. I suppose in a metaphorical sense it can?”

 

“I mean, yeah ok. That makes more sense.” A telltale crinkle formed in between Kara’s brows. “In its most basic explanation, it’s when particles are connected in such a close way that it can’t be described independently from the other. Even when far apart. Do you think that could apply to people?”

 

Kara’s voice fell quieter with each word, sounding more and more like her old, brilliant self.

 

“Not in the logical sense that one person depends on the other to simply exist, but as you said, metaphorically? That two people could just… click. And become a pair?”

 

Lena could see that open and trusting look in Kara’s expression again and her heart sank. She knew exactly where this was going. She swallowed thickly against the burn of tears at the base of her throat.  _ It wasn’t fair. _

 

“Metaphorically, yes.”

 

Kara’s eyes flicked quickly over her face and Lena could see her weighing her words with each passing second. She waited. She may feel like an anvil was pressing down on her chest in the effort to keep herself from blurting out incriminating feelings, but she would let it press. It wasn’t the time to even begin to think about doing that, not when Kara was still not herself. Not when she was very obviously realizing that just maybe…

 

“Alex wasn’t the only person I remembered more about today.”

 

_ Oh thank god _ .

 

“Oh yeah?”

 

Kara nodded and looked down at her fingers twisting in her lap. “I remembered Sam, and James. And Winn. I remember when I told him I was Supergirl I jumped off the roof of CatCo.”

 

Lena blinked.

 

“You  _ would _ do that.”

 

Kara shrugged. “It was easier to show him, y’know? But, um. I also remembered a lot about you.”

 

The moment sank heavily on their shoulders. Lena knew that this would either be a breath of fresh air, or make everything worse. She stayed silent, biting back the swirling questions as Kara searched for the right words.

 

“I was scared last night because I was remembering Cadmus. When the agents got here.” Her eyes flicked up guiltily and then back down to her hands. “I was remembering your mother. Lillian. I remembered how she hurt me. Took my blood.”

 

“Kara, I-”

 

“I remembered how she hurt you.”

 

Kara looked up again and held her gaze. Her eyes were an icy piercing blue, steely with anger and the memory of feeling helpless. Lena could almost physically feel the chilly emotion and she couldn’t look away. She felt leaden and for a moment time stopped and she turned to stone.

 

“How she kept hurting you. And  _ Lex. He- _ ” Kara couldn’t finish her sentence.

 

Lena swallowed thickly against the threatening burn of tears.

 

“I’m okay now.” She croaked, feeling like Kara had cracked her chest open.

 

Kara didn’t say anything for a long moment, the muscles working in her throat as she swallowed down what Lena guess was the urge to scream.

 

_ “I’ll never let them hurt you again.” _

 

Lena had to look away, tilting her head up to keep the tears from escaping. Kara’s promise was uttered harshly in consonant-heavy Kryptonian. Raw and unfettered with teeth bared. She could hear her breathing heavily through her nose for a long minute before actively trying to calm herself down. Kara shifted uncomfortably and began to speak in a soft, quiet voice meant only for her. Lena took a steadying breath and turned her gaze back to her.

 

“I… I know you can protect yourself, Lena. But if you’ll let me help? Just a little bit?”

 

Lena nodded. Kara’s eyes searched her face for something, the crinkle forming in between her brows as she started to ramble quietly.

 

“Whenever I remember more about you, I remember more about Cadmus. More about Lillian and Lex. I remember us working together against them, about how you were framed and I worked to clear your name. How Lex manipulated you for years and how he just kept hurting you with each little cut. I remember watching you grow from it, and being  _ so _ proud of you. I remember the relief and the hugs and… I remember  _ so many little fragments _ but I can’t see the full picture and I’m-I’m  _ so frustrated- _ ”

 

She blew out her breath in a rush and tried to start her next sentence no less than three times, her jaw working and face full of apprehension. Lena felt as if Kara was dangling them over the edge of a cliff.

 

“What is it?”

 

It was barely even a whisper. A roughly exhaled breath pushing out soundless words.

 

_ What has you so afraid? _

 

Lena almost didn’t want to know the answer to that question. She could see Kara practically tearing herself apart over the decision to keep going, or to cut her losses and run. For a long moment Lena thought that Kara would do exactly that. She could imagine her hopping up a little too quickly from her seat and rushing to the kitchen for more food whether she wanted it or not. She could imagine her blurting out another harmless question about science. She could imagine asking about something asinine or something about their friends. She could imagine a million and one things that Kara could ask her but only one truly scared her.

 

She could  _ only imagine. _

 

_. _

 

_. _

 

_. _

 

“I’m  _ so _ sorry, but… are we more than just friends?” 

 

And there it was.

 

Exactly what she was hoping Kara wouldn’t ask.

 

_ Yet. Ask her yet. When she wasn’t still half-addled. _

 

But she did ask. And she couldn’t have had more  _ terrible _ timing.

 

Lena felt like she could sink through the earth’s core and throw herself into the stratosphere at the same time. It was simultaneously the worst and best thing that Kara could have asked her and Lena felt her heart dropping at the very obvious answer that she was going to have to give her. Just as she was taking a deep breath to answer, Sam keyed back into the room. A healthy blush colored Kara’s cheeks and she leapt up from the couch, obviously embarrassed. Just like Lena had imagined a moment before.

 

“Okay! Ruby’s fine, who wants to watch something?”

 

Sam watched in mild curiosity as Kara hustled back into the safety of the kitchen. Her curiosity turned to concern when she saw Lena’s bewildered and distressed expression. She was about to ask what was wrong when Alex ventured back in from the balcony, stuffing her phone in the pocket of her sweats as she veered towards the kitchen area.

 

“I know I shouldn’t, but i  _ really _ want a burger. Or half a burger. Specifically with french fries on it. Kara, did you eat all the burgers?”

 

The Agent thankfully drew Sam’s attention away from her, giving her time to reel herself back in. Lena held that deep breath for a beat, her answer on the tip of her tongue, and then she sighed. She sank back into the couch cushion and let her eyes shut for a moment as she bit back her frustration. Lena wished she was at home so she could be alone and just  _ cry _ .

 

“Yeah, sure. Bring the scotch while you’re up, please. And some more french fries.”

 

* * *

 

Lena wasn’t sure how she made it, but she survived the rest of the evening. She had even behaved and didn’t drink herself into a stupor. A feat she was proud of. She  _ really _ needed to address her drinking habits. However she did credit her self control to the small blessing that Sam had taken the seat in between her and Kara. It was much easier for her to focus and partially pay attention to whatever caught their attention when there was a physical barrier. It was yet another small blessing that Sam acted like she hadn’t accidentally barged in on what was possibly a supremely private conversation. Lena appreciated her discretion and made a mental note to look into some suit tweaks and upgrades as thanks.

 

Kara had easily slid back into her more usual bubbly self and stayed entertained with Alex. If Lena still hadn’t been reeling from their earlier conversation she probably would have been jealous of the attention she wasn’t getting. It was both confusing and so unbelievably frustrating. It chipped steadily away at the small reserves she still had and made her want to retreat away from it all. It made her want to lock herself away in her lab and stay there until this entire situation blew over. Maybe she’d even get a chance to get her stupid feelings back under lock and key where they belonged. Lena knew it was a pipe dream, but she indulged herself while the mindless drone of the weather channel lulled her into a calmer frame of mind.

 

It was about ten-thirty when Lena couldn’t stop yawning, and Sam turned down the volume on the television. She reached out and squeezed Lena’s knee, pulling her out of her stupor.

 

“You should get some rest, you’ve had a long day. And I saw the email about tomorrow morning.”

 

Lena nodded and slowly sat up from her nest in the corner of the couch. “ _ Ugh _ I’m just ready for this week to be over. Thank you for keeping Kara company today.”

 

“Sure. Forward me the notes on the green deals when you get a chance? I’ll go to the meeting with you too, just to be backup muscle.”

 

Lena nodded and yawned again into her hand, feeling for her water glass on the coffee table. “I’d appreciate that. And I’ll get you those notes after I organize them.”

 

Sam squeezed her knee warmly one more time and rose to her feet, rounding on Kara. “Don’t stay up too late. And stay quiet for Lena, okay?”

 

Kara nodded meekly, fiddling with the end of the long braid she had unraveled from around her head. She looked soft and cozy and a little on edge. The contrast unsettled Lena. Sam waved at Alex through the balcony window from where she had ventured again and padded into the kitchen, quickly stowing away the scant leftovers the agents had left behind, and slipped from the suite with a quiet goodnight.

 

With her buffer gone, Lena was immediately aware that it was just her and Kara now. Sure there was Alex and the other agents, but they weren’t  _ in _ the room with them. She fiddled with her cell phone for a long moment, trying not to acknowledge the eyes she could feel trained on her face. In the end she ended up answering a few emails anyways until Kara shifted restlessly on the other end of the couch. Lena looked up just as Kara looked away, her face pink and her lip caught between her teeth. She realized that Kara was probably looking for an answer that she hadn’t had the chance to give and her heart sank heavily into her stomach. Lena needed to tell her, it was the fair thing to do.

 

She pressed her lips into a thin line, formed her words… and then chickened out.

 

“Don’t forget to brush your teeth, okay?”

 

Kara deflated sadly and nodded, shrinking into the couch. Lena could have kicked herself, and ducked her head away in embarrassment. She knew she should stop and answer Kara’s question, but she got up. She knew she should address the elephant in the room, but she picked up her water glass and bid Kara goodnight. The walk from the couch to the dim bedroom was the most painful walk of shame Lena had ever taken. Kara didn’t follow her, much to her luck. Or was it misfortune? A part of her wanted Kara to chase after her like she always did, like Lena did when the tables were turned. But Kara wasn’t herself and she didn’t know. Lena pulled the door closed to a crack with a heavy sigh. Really, she should have expected that, and now she was being the dodgy asshole refusing to acknowledge Kara’s feelings just to selfishly protect herself.

 

_ “Good going, Lena.” _ She muttered under her breath.

 

Lena went through the motions of her bedtime routine even though she felt like she was made of lead. She had just pulled back the covers when a soft knock on the door frame caught her attention. Lena looked up and her stomach did a weird somersault as her anxiety came rushing back. Kara was standing timidly in the door, looking more than a little frazzled. Lena crossed her arms self consciously in across her chest and waited for her to stop fidgeting with the hem of her t-shirt. Lena knew why she was there, and she had already run away from her. Part of her wanted to keep running, but the logic side of her brain finally prevailed and she stayed put. Even if it made her want to scream.

 

“Alex, uh, took the couch. I didn’t want to kick her off onto the floor.”

 

Lena nodded, understanding the situation now and started to relax. She could survive one more night as long as Kara didn’t-

 

“And, um. You-you didn’t answer my question.”

 

Lena wanted very much to faceplant into the bed.

 

She  _ almost _ did. Instead she sat down on the edge of the mattress with a tired sigh, arms tightening across her chest. She waited to see what Kara would do, giving her full attention with a silent nod in a way she hoped was welcoming. Her best friend hovered in the doorway for an awkward moment, and then took a halting step inside as her fingers twisted a little too tightly around the hem of her shirt. She picked out the quiet sound of stitches popping but Kara gave no indication that she had noticed. That simple step alone was bigger than anything Kara could have said in that moment, and it made Lena’s heart leap high in her chest. But she didn’t come any closer. It stung a little, but she understood why. Especially after how she had treated her earlier. Instead, she got up and moved to the corner of the bed, respecting Kara’s choice to keep some distance while showing her that she was finally trying to meet her halfway. It was the best she could make of the situation.

 

Kara watched her silently, her face clearly showing her apprehension and a mix of hope and what Lena recognized as the familiarity of fear. She wanted to reach out to her, to touch her, but instead she dug her fingers into her biceps.

 

“Kara, I… No. We aren’t more than friends. I’m sorry.”

 

It hurt.

 

It hurt to think it. To say it even though she felt as if she were sinking beneath the waves. It almost felt like she was drowning. It hurt to see Kara’s face fall, to see her shoulders slump and her face burn with shame. It  _ hurt _ and Lena couldn’t breathe and she hated herself for it. Lena wanted to throw up.

 

But it was the truth. And Kara deserved the truth even when it cut deeply.

 

“Ah… I, uh. I thought… The way-” Kara stuttered to a stop, her face crumpling for a moment.

 

“I guess I fooled myself.” She forced a smile, her fingers twisting harshly. Lena heard the fabric strain. “I’m sorry, that wasn’t, uh, appropriate of me. Um. Goodnight, Lena.”

 

Kara turned back towards the door. Lena’s world ground to a halt.

 

Kara was devastated. Lena had never seen her so viscerally open about any kind of rejection. There was always a veneer of careful control and right that second, there wasn’t any. This was wholly Kara asking her if they were  _ more _ . And then the pain when she realized they weren’t.

 

She thought quickly, her mind stumbling through scenario after scenario, running in a circle faster than she could speak. And then she thought of something. A non-answer so completely reckless she was just stupid enough to try it. Lena  _ did _ have a way to salvage whatever this was. Kara was willing, it was fair that she try too.

 

“No- _ Kara _ . Wait, please.  _ Please _ .” Lena scrambled up from the bed and took a few stuttering steps towards her, arms wrapped protectively around her torso.

 

Kara stopped.

 

Her heart felt like a drum in her chest, stealing her breath and driving her forward. It didn’t feel right to let her go, not when she knew that her feelings weren’t in vain after all. Not when she knew that there really was a chance that she could give Kara the love she ached to. If Kara wanted it. She took a deep breath and met guarded blue eyes.

 

Lena kept her face open, her intentions and emotions clear, and took a leap of faith.

 

“If…  _ when _ you remember who you are, what you do, what I am to you… if you still have these feelings, please come talk to me?”

 

It took Kara a moment to process what she had said, to listen through the hurt and to comprehend what Lena was telling her. The low somber pull of her brow eased and her face lit up with the dawn of realization.

 

“ _ Oh.” _

 

Lena swallowed down the urge to blurt out more, but settled on a careful continuation and explanation. She felt the heat of attraction and emotion flicker like a low burning fire under her skin and she ached to reach out and touch Kara, but she kept her hands locked around her biceps. She needed Kara to listen and not be distracted.  _ She _ needed to not be distracted.

 

“It wouldn’t be fair to do or say anything right this second. Not when you’re still trying to heal. I want you to be in full control of your faculties before you make any big decisions. Do you understand?”

 

Kara’s posture eased into one of slumped awe as her hands loosened and let go of her mangled t-shirt hem. Lena thought she looked rather cute casually rumpled with her hair in a messy braid over her shoulder. She looked better than she had any right to, and she had never wanted to kiss her more.

 

But she didn’t.

 

“I understand.”

 

They were frozen in an awkward standoff of sorts. Lena didn’t want to be the first to step away and apparently neither did Kara.

 

“Is it okay if I still sleep next to you?”

 

It was a simple and quiet acceptance of Lena’s rebuff, and an olive branch to reassure her that she would wait. That she understood  _ why _ . Lena felt the tension drain out of her shoulders and her body hummed with jittery energy even through her exhaustion. She flexed her fingers woodenly against her arms. They had grown stiff from how tight her grip had been.

 

“Sure. That’s fine.”

 

Kara’s shoulders relaxed further and pushed the door partially cracked behind her. She mumbled a soft  _ thank you _ and wandered towards the bathroom. Lena paused, her brow furrowing in concern.

 

“I heard you slept all day, you don’t have to go to bed right now if you aren’t tired.”

 

It was an offering of an easy out for some time to regroup, but Kara paused and her shoulders slumped into a more somber posture. Lena could barely hear her when she answered.

 

“No, I… I remembered Krypton today too. I don’t really want to be alone.”

 

Lena grimaced. “Does Alex know?”

 

Kara shook her head.

 

Lena sighed deeply. “I understand.”

 

Kara bobbed her head and shrugged her shoulders at the same time with a sad smile and left to go brush her teeth. She had seen the survivor’s guilt peeking through the cracks in her smile and she knew that Kara was just barely holding on. Even with the sad undertones of the situation, Lena took a deep breath and held it until her lungs burned. She relished the stretch in her ribs and clutched the urge to shout as the golden fiery joy of Kara liking her back licked up in her chest. She hoped that it would work out. Hoped that this tiptoeing wasn’t in vain and that maybe, just  _ maybe _ , Kara really would feel the same way when she was back to her normal self.

 

When the feeling subsided, she took a deep breath and settled into bed. She felt completely wired and wondered if she would even be able to sleep. Kara returned a moment later, all shy hesitant glances and modest movements. She climbed into her side of the bed and burrowed into the covers with a sigh, scooching deeper into her cocoon when Lena switched off the light. They were quiet for a long moment, and then Lena rolled over to face her, sliding her hand into the middle of the bed. There was a beat, and then the sound of Kara moving. Warm fingers gently slid over her knuckles to rest on the back of her hand.

 

Lena carefully listened to her breathe. The night settled and she laid there feeling closer to Kara than she ever had before, even though they were at arm’s length. The warm weight of her hand was comforting and after a few long moments Lena found herself calming. She still wasn’t ready to sleep even though her body felt like it was full of bricks. Instead she let her mind wander to her day ahead, going over what she needed to send to Sam, the meeting in the morning, what-

 

Kara withdrew her hand.

 

Lena blinked back into focus and squinted through the dark room. The faint light from the city peeked in from around the edge of the curtain and she could just make out the curve of Kara’s shoulder. She watched her shield her head with an unsteady hand, and then she felt the slight tremor of her silent sobs. Alarm and guilt curdled in Lena’s stomach and she slowly pushed herself up onto her elbow.

 

“Kara?”

 

Her whisper prompted a quiet, wet sob.  _ “I’m sorry, I’m okay. Go to sleep.” _

 

Kara was absolutely  _ not _ okay but Lena didn’t know if it was because of her or something else.

 

_ “Please tell me what’s wrong?” _

 

Kara sucked in a deep breath and curled in tighter on herself.

 

_ “I wish I hadn’t remembered Krypton.” _

 

Lena was sliding across the bed and pulling Kara into her arms before she could think do do anything else. Kara gasped and pressed her face into Lena’s neck, a low broken hearted sob of despair shaking her as she carefully curled against her. Lena held her as she cried, holding her as tightly as she could. She pressed her lips firmly into the top of her head and felt her own heart breaking for her. Tears dampened the neckline of her tee and a tentative hand curled around her waist.

 

Seeing Kara so openly hurting was bewildering and frightening. Lena had never seen her so vulnerable this entire evening than she ever had before and she  _ hated it _ . She wished she could take the hurt away, wished that she could give Kara back her memories, wished that she could give her back the dull ache of lived with loss and take away the sharp pain of fresh memories. Lena had never felt so utterly helpless. She had half a mind to call out for Alex, but Kara pressed in tighter and the thought flew from her mind.

 

As they laid there Lena recalled an old lullaby she remembered from her mother. It was a slow somber tune, one that she had made up just for Lena. One she would hum privately to herself when she needed a small taste of home and a simple life. A tune that she had never shared with anyone until now. Lena cleared her throat and hummed it softly into Kara’s hair until her tears slowed and she fell into a fitful sleep. 

 

She didn’t get much rest that night.

 

* * *

 

Lena breathed in deeply through her nose, her mind foggy with sleep. She could hear her alarm chiming at her from the bedside table but the last thing she wanted to do was move. She and Kara had gravitated towards the middle of the bed during the night and Lena was on her back. Kara still had her face tucked into her neck, her body draped loosely over her own. Her warm breath washed evenly over her skin and despite her lack of sleep Lena felt pretty great. She smoothed her hand down Kara’s back and cracked her eyes open. Grey dawn filtered in around the curtain edge and Lena yawned.

 

“Kara? I have to get up.”

 

_ “Mmmhhhh.” _

 

Kara sighed heavily but didn’t move. Lena pursed her lips and started to scoot over on her back, just barely stretching her arm far enough to turn off her alarm. Toned arms tightened snugly around her ribs and Kara pressed closer.

 

“Five more m’nutes.”

 

Lena sighed and stared up at the dark ceiling. Five more minutes wouldn’t be  _ too _ bad. She shifted back and curled her arms around broad shoulders again, letting her eyes slip closed for just a few more minutes. She didn’t fall back asleep, but instead focused on what she was feeling. Feeling Kara strong yet relaxed against her, a warm comforting weight and protective embrace. The way her back felt under her palms as it rose and fell with her breathing. How her breath puffed warmly across her skin and her hair tickled her nose. How she smelled of clean laundry, faint metallic ozone, and something that was uniquely her. Lena drank it all in. She didn’t know how things would change between them and maybe it was selfish, but Lena greedily enjoyed the next couple minutes.

 

Eventually she managed to slip out of Kara’s loose hold and went about getting ready for the day. This morning she only commandeered the balcony for twenty minutes, just long enough to wake up and kick her body into a more alert state. Kara was still dozing when she snuck back into the bedroom to get ready for the day, but had rolled over onto Lena’s side. Lena paused with her day’s outfit in her hands and took a moment to try to etch the scene into memory. Even if they went back to being just friends she wanted to be able to look back and remember Kara so completely relaxed and safe in her bed. And even if things didn’t work out at all and they grew apart, having this small quiet morning would hopefully be enough. Lena retreated into the bathroom and got ready for the day.

 

* * *

 

The bathroom door opened with a quiet creak and Lena couldn’t help but grimace. She turned the light off and slipped out into the dim bedroom but drew up short. Kara was sitting up in the middle of the bed with her face in her hands. A jolt of anxiety kicked her worry into overdrive. She dropped her dirty clothes haphazardly next to the door and rushed to the bed ready to jump into action.

 

“Kara? What is it? Are you okay? Do you need me to get Alex?”

 

Kara inhaled deeply and pressed her hands tighter into her face.

 

“Yep. Yep, I’m okay.”

 

It was a rather high pitched tone and it was exactly what Lena was not expecting. She felt her brow crease as she tried to catch Kara’s eye, leaning forward onto the bed. Her hand found Kara’s closest knee under the blankets and she ducked her head a little further. Her worry turned to confusion when she was barely able to make out how red Kara’s face was in the soft morning light.

 

“...Kara?”

 

“No, it’s fine, I’m just…  _ really _ embarrassed.”

 

“What-why? Kara, you’re not making any sense-”

 

“ _ I remember. _ ”

 

Lena’s worry screeched to a halt. Something that felt suspiciously like dread settled heavily into her stomach when she understood what Kara meant.

 

“I remember.”

 

Kara blew her breath out forcefully and let her hands fall into her lap. Lena watched her struggle and fail to look at her.

 

“You remember.”

 

Kara’s jaw worked for a moment and her hands twisted together in her lap.

 

“I’ve really made a fool of myself. I said some things last night and I… I’m sorry, Lena.”

 

_ Oh, she remembered. _

 

_ Oh. _

 

“Oh.”

 

Lena didn’t know what to think, but none of it was good. She carefully withdrew her hand from Kara’s knee and took a slow step back, scrabbling to hold her suddenly haywire emotions in check. Ice ran through her veins and her own embarrassment made her stomach lurch. She had opened up to Kara and practically confessed that she held more than just friendly feelings for her. Feelings that it seems Kara couldn’t actually return after all. Logically, Lena knew that this wasn’t manipulation similar to what she had gone through with her family. But the hurt felt just the same. 

 

“So. You’re all better now?”

 

“I… yeah. I’m me. Headache is gone too.”

 

“Ah… that’s good. And a lot faster than Alex expected.”

 

The sinking feeling from the night before came back heavier than ever and Lena could see Kara closing herself up. Closing herself off from her.

 

“Could you go get her for me? Please?”

 

Lena balked and took a tentative step closer to the bed, but Kara turned her head away.

 

_ Oh _ .

 

If Lena knew what getting crushed by the Indiana Jones boulder felt like, surely it was this. Slowly, piece by piece, Lena pulled herself back in behind her walls that she was so painfully familiar with. She straightened up and took another full step back, feeling raw. It was like she had just emotionally amputated a limb.

 

“I’ll go get her. I have to go to work, so I’ll see you back in National City?”

 

Her voice sounded flat to her own ears, but it was the best she could do with the shattered glass in her chest. She swallowed thickly against the burn of rejection and smoothed her face into the blank mask she reserved for when she had to emotionally separate herself from her decisions.

 

“Yeah, be safe.”

 

Kara at least spared her a glance but her face fell guiltily when she saw Lena’s expression. Or lack thereof. It was too much to drag out any further and Lena decided to save what she could of her shredded dignity. So instead of saying anything else she stepped into her heels, gathered up her purse and what she would need for her final meeting of her business trip, and slipped from the dim bedroom. Alex was thankfully puttering around in the kitchen and pulled up short when Lena breezed past her in a flurry of expensive perfume and silk.

 

“Where’s the fire?” She asked into her coffee cup.

 

Lena shoved a water bottle and a few granola bars into her purse and left the coffee for later. She’d pick something up on the way to the old LuthorCorp building.

 

“Your sister’s asking for you. She’s got her memory back.”

 

“Wha- _ really?! _ That’s great-hey,  _ where are you going? _ ”

 

“Work.” Lena swept out of the kitchen area and quickly made her way to the door.

 

“Bu-it’s seven-fifteen!”

 

“The Corporate World never sleeps, Agent Danvers. I’ll see you back in National City.”

 

She shoved her way out of the suite ignoring Alex’s confusion and shot a text off to Sam that she would meet her at the final event. Lena sucked in a shaky breath and beat back the hot burn of tears, striding quickly past the DEO agents patrolling the long quiet hallway without a glance. Right now she needed to put as much distance between herself and her heart lying on the bedroom floor at Kara’s feet.

 

* * *

 

_ Five more minutes, Lena. _

 

She prodded at her temples, frowning against the pounding headache that had formed as the weasley excuse of an investor continued to complain about every tiny little thing that no one else in attendance had issue with. The man to her left and Sam on her right shifted in annoyance as the man launched into another branch of his ever-connecting complaints and Lena let her eyes slip shut for just a moment.

 

It had been a difficult morning. Which that alone was an understatement. As she fled the hotel she luckily grabbed a wimpy styrofoam cup of hotel coffee. It wasn’t nearly enough caffeine but it at least gave her a little bit of a kick. It was gone by the time her town car pulled up to the old LuthorCorp building close to eight and she kept her head down as a few of the Daily Planet reporters just coming in for work recognized her. She dodged calls for comments and escaped into the building without a scratch. It had seemed that a handful of other conference attendees had arrived early for their 9 AM adjournment and Lena was unfortunately thrust into the world of small talk while running on barely what she would call a cup of coffee. While they waited for the rest of the cobbled together board to show up she ate her plain breakfast and managed to wrangle a toothbrush by stealing someone’s intern and slipping them some cash to run to the bodega on the corner street two blocks away. Sam showed up twenty minutes before their start time in a cleanly pressed pants suit and a strong motherly look of worry.

 

The meeting, of course, had opened with a petty argument. Thankfully a representative from Starr Labs managed to seize the reins and got everyone back on track. Lena had just watched through the debacle, barely having the energy to deal with this mess much less the train wreck from that morning. They were well past their third hour and  _ thankfully _ it sounded like they were wrapping up. Except for Mr. Weasel. All Lena wanted to do at this point was drink a heavily spiked cup of coffee and start organizing her notes from the past two days. She didn’t even know if if the half-formed notes from this morning’s messy discussion would even be usable.

 

“Oh I’m  _ sorry _ , Miss Luthor. Am I boring you?” The obnoxious man wheedled in a nasally voice.

 

Lena sighed deeply and stamped down her frustration. The leather chairs in the room creaked as everyone else turned curiously in her direction. She opened her eyes, pinned him with her best blank stare, and folded her hands neatly in front of her on the polished table.

 

“Yes. You are. Do you have anything else of value to add to this discussion or are you going to get off your undeserved soapbox?”

 

Mr. Weasel’s face flushed and he began to sputter indignantly. Before he could continue his tirade directed at her, a couple of the other business executives used her interjection to hastily call the meeting to a close before the man could start on another tirade. Lena rose to her feet and made sure to thank everyone for their work that week, even Mr. Weasel who looked like he would have loved to have strangled her. She strode quickly from the board room with Sam silent at her elbow.

 

“I think I’d like to get back on that plane as soon as possible.”

 

Sam just sighed and followed along.

 

Lena ran on autopilot back to the hotel and tried not to let the empty suite bother her. She didn’t even look at the pristinely made bed, knowing that the sheets were clean and no longer smelled like Kara. Even if they had, there was no way she would let herself fall face first into them, no matter how badly she wanted to. That ship had sailed and sunk. She gathered her things, rolled her clothes neatly into her suitcase, left a generous tip for the housekeepers, and called up a bellboy to take hers and Sam’s bags down to the foyer.

 

The next two hours were a blur of travel from the hotel, to the airport, to waiting in the VIP lounge for their plane to find a timeslot for takeoff. Sam had thankfully called ahead but it was a busy Saturday and they weren’t allotted a departure time until the early evening. Lena busied herself with the green deal notes she had promised Sam and fell into the familiar routine of work. Data entry was a much more forgiving topic to focus on. Thankfully Sam let her work in silence up until they boarded their flight back to National City. They had just reached cruising altitude and Lena was already pulling her laptop back out and asking for a quad espresso from the stewardess. She needed the caffeine and she had a lot to not think about.

 

“Hey Lena?”

 

Sam was still strapped into her seat across the aisle. The plane hummed quietly around them and Lena made herself yawn to pop her ears.

 

“Hey Sam?”

 

She continued setting up her new workstation, booted her computer up, and pulled her tablet and phone towards her. Sam shifted nervously in her seat and Lena waited, leaving herself in the simple droning routine of work. She had a pretty strong suspicion about what Sam was probably going to bring up and she one hundred percent did  _ not _ want to address it.

 

“Do you want to tell me what’s wrong?”

 

Lena sighed heavily and swallowed thickly against the deep empty feeling in her chest and deflected. Her hands flexed over her keyboard.

 

“I’m going to send you these green deal notes. Go ahead and look over them and tell me if something catches your attention.”

 

The plane rose up a bit higher, the g-force pulling at Lena but it was steady enough her devices didn’t move. Sam murmured a quiet acquiescence in defeat and started pulling out her own laptop. Lena worked the entire way back to National City running on nothing but coffee and bile.

 

* * *

 

Sunday was not a good day.

 

Sunday was a day where everything was too much.

 

Sunday was when Lena laid in bed until ten, exhausted from venting her feelings late into the night and then barely sleeping. It was the only day she’d allow to feel sorry for herself before locking it all away again. Sunday was when Lena allowed herself to feel and mourn and recall how incredibly too naive she had been. Just like always. One day she would learn but it seemed like she never would. That she would be doomed to coasting through life since everyone around her either died or held her at arms length. A lone shrike. A wry thought of talking to her therapist about this crossed her mind. Maybe she would. It would be the adult thing to do. The hardest thing to do.

 

Lena twisted closer to the edge of the bed. It felt far too big and far too empty and she got up and moved to the cozy armchair in the corner when she couldn’t stand it anymore. The small confines of the chair made her feel a little safer as if it could keep her from shaking apart. She stayed curled up in her new nest in the dim gloom of her bedroom until she forced herself to eat something around three in the afternoon. She choked it down against the curdling sadness that squeezed her throat and finally checked her phone. There were texts and calls from Sam, Jess, Alex, and J’onn as well as a couple business contacts and reporters. But not Kara.

 

Lena sighed heavily, feeling her disappointment pull her shoulders down low. She didn’t even have Kara’s sweatshirt to wear anymore, her friend had taken it back with her before Lena had gotten back to the hotel room. Were they even friends anymore? Did Lena ruin that too? In an attempt to beat back the tears that threatened to fall again, she answered a good chunk of the least emotionally compromising messages and hid away inside her home workshop until the day bled away.

 

* * *

 

Monday arrived with driving sheets of rain and low rumbling thunder and a new electrical burn across her knuckles from a careless slip the night before. 

 

Lena was stiff from sleeping a scant few hours in the armchair and went through way too many coffee cups. She took an hour to catch up on what she had missed with Jess and immediately pushed herself back into her full CEO duties. Most of her day was comprised of answering emails, reviewing quotes and internal documents, signing off on a few new business ventures for R&D, and eating the salad Jess brought her around one. Everything felt a bit more simple when her brain had nothing to focus on except the task in front of her. So focused that she didn’t even notice Sam had slipped into her office sometime after four.

 

“Miss Luthor, Miss Arias is here to see you.”

 

Lena looked away from the schematics she was reviewing and found Sam standing just inside her office. Jess looked at her curiously from the doorway but quietly exited to return to her own desk. Without waiting for an invitation, Sam walked over and settled comfortably into one of the white bucket seats in front of Lena’s desk. She crossed her leg over her knee and laced her fingers together in her lap. Lena stared at her for a long moment, trying to understand the look that her friend was giving her. Sam didn’t often look at her like that and she couldn’t tell if it was for personal or business reasons.

 

“...did something happen? Do I need to call Gail?”

 

Sam snorted. “No, you don’t need to call your lawyer. I just wanted to check on you.”

 

The coiling tension that had straightened her spine a moment ago relaxed.

 

“Oh. I’m fine, just a bit tired.”

 

“Are you okay?”

 

_ No. _

 

“Yes, why do you ask?”

 

Sam narrowed her eyes as she started to get drawn back into her schematics. “You just seem like something is bothering you.”

 

“Mmm well, I had some classic nightmares last night. Lex blowing up the block again. That kind of stuff.”

 

_ Kara turning her back on her. _

 

“Do you want to talk about it?”

 

Lena wrinkled her nose and shot Sam an exasperated but understanding look. But what Sam didn’t know wouldn’t hurt her. Her friend threw her hands up with a roll of her eyes.

 

“ _ Fine _ , fine. I need to head out anyways, I promised Ruby pizza for dinner and then Kara wanted a patrol buddy. She’s doing fine, by the way, or so she says. I’m just there to make sure she isn’t lying about how she’s feeling and decides to dive bomb a patio again. Text me if you need anything?”

 

“Sure. Be safe?” Lena smiled tightly, stamping down the jealousy that Kara still hadn’t texted her yet.

 

“Always.” Sam winked and stood up. “Can I have a hug or do you want me to scoot?”

 

Lena rolled her eyes and pushed herself up out of her chair with exaggerated exasperation, but forced a small smile all the same. “Well I  _ suppose _ so.”

 

Sam grinned and rounded the desk. She scooped Lena up into a warm hug for a brief moment.

 

“I know this weekend was hard. You can talk to me if you need to.”

 

_ You have no idea _ .

 

“I’ll keep you in the loop. Now, go. Before Ruby gets impatient and orders nothing but dessert pizza.”

 

Sam laughed and pulled away after one last squeeze. “Yeah, as much as I love chocolate she would  _ so _ be stuck with washing the dishes for a week. I’ll talk to you tomorrow?”

 

“I’ll be here.”

 

“Good. Maybe we can get lunch and talk about that green deal.” Sam proposed as she made her way back towards the door.

 

Lena sank back into her seat, her smile feeling like the biggest hoax in history. “Yes, let’s. I’m curious to hear your thoughts.”

 

Sam grinned a little bit broader and bid her goodbye. Lena heard her greet Jess as the door fell closed behind her and her smile slipped off her face and shattered on the floor.

 

* * *

 

Tuesday brought sun, an insightful discussion with Sam over lunch on one of their other projects, and thankfully a short breather from the mess that was rattling around inside her chest. She was still playing catch-up from her week away from L Corp when her phone buzzed with a pressing news bulletin. She finished typing her sentence and scooped up the device, her heart leaping into her throat when she read the headline.

 

_ Supergirl Returns! _

_ After a nasty fall last week, the hero thwarts armed robbery on Pacific St.- _

 

Lena hastily swiped to the newsfeed and watched the forty-five second clip of Kara in her jewel toned red and blue take a full shotgun blast to the chest without blinking. Lena flinched in response and watched her pluck the gun out of the masked man’s hand and fold it like a paperclip. She thumped the man on the forehead with her finger and he dropped like a sack of potatoes. Her expression was annoyed exasperation and the other two men quickly surrendered as soon as she turned in their direction. The feed jumped to a live shot of a reporter standing in front of the financial building, giving a run down spiel of the events that had occurred.

 

“ _ -hostages have been rescued and thankfully no one was hurt. Police say all suspects are in custody and the man Supergirl apprehended will make a full recovery-oh! Excuse me! Folks let me-Supergirl! A moment of your time, please!” _

 

The reporter in a patterned floral top waved off screen as she strode off to her left. The camera jostled and quickly followed after her, panning around to a group of emergency personnel and a familiar red cape. Lena’s breath caught in her throat as she watched her friend turn around and smile warmly at the reporter.

 

“ _ Supergirl, do you have a moment?” _

 

_ “Hi! Of course.” _

 

Lena couldn’t help but sink lowly into her chair. Kara looked flawless and brave and kind and every inch the noble Kryptonian she knew her to be. She was unscathed except for a few scuffs on the crest of her suit and her hair was effortlessly windswept. An ache pulled deeply in her empty chest and Lena wanted to stop watching, but she couldn’t look away.

 

_ “What can you tell us about today’s events? Are they interconnected with other recent robberies or was it a single party?” _

 

_ “I apologize but I know just as much as you. I’m certain the police will release a statement soon to the press, but I was just here to make sure no one got hurt.” _

 

_ “I see, thank you. Supergirl, National City is so glad to see you back in good health today.” _

 

_ “Thank you. I had a little bit of a rough weekend but I’m all better.” _

 

_ “Yes, we saw you take a bit of a fall. Can you tell us what happened?” _

 

Kara visibly balked and plastered a bright smile onto her face. Lena could tell it was forced.

 

_ “I had a run-in with one of my cousin’s acquaintances. I got surprised but luckily Superwoman was available to come help. We were able to apprehend them last night thanks to some quick thinking. They won’t be bothering us any time soon.” _

 

_ “And Lena Luthor? We saw that she was with you as well?” _

 

Lena picked out the subtle signs of Kara’s obvious discomfort.

 

_ “Miss Luthor was a key player in helping us track them down. Without her help they would most likely still be out there. I hate to be rude but if you’ll excuse me, I need to get back to work.” _

 

_ “Of course! Thank you, Supergirl!” _ The reported waved off the tightly smiling Kryptonian and watched her leave off screen, her face obviously star struck.

 

_ “Well there you have it folks, and another shining example of a Super and a Luthor-” _

 

Lena locked her phone and dumped it into her purse.

 

* * *

 

Later that evening Lena paced nervously in front of her phone. It was lying face up and unlocked on the kitchen island, screen showing a brand new text she had just sent off.

 

_ I saw the news today, I’m glad you’re okay. Lunch soon? _

 

It was simple. An open invitation just like always. She didn’t even venture anywhere near the situation they had gotten themselves into even though she was trying not to scream for any kind of closure. Sinking dread pulled at her stomach and second guessed the lunch invitation. She had just made her tenth lap in front of the television when her phone buzzed. Lena stumbled to a stop and whirled around, her eyes locking in on her phone. With her heart in her throat she rushed back over to it and leaned over the screen, her hands tightly gripping the edge of the counter top.

 

_ Hi, thanks! I wish I could but I’m busy. _

 

The change from anxiousness to pure disappointment was so sudden Lena had to lean heavily against the counter. She hung her head and stared blindly at the hardwood floor. She had been brushed off before, sure. All the time in fact across a multitude of scenarios. But this was painfully new. Tears burned unbidden in her eyes and she straightened up with a deep breath. She held the air in her lungs for a long moment and then blew it out in a tired sigh, feeling like her ribcage was caving in on itself. She knew that Kara really was busy, but the fact that she hadn’t ended her response with her usual  _ can I get a raincheck? _ Lena picked her phone back up and typed out a slow short message.

 

_ If you get a free day, give Jess a call. _

 

The only response she got was a single emoji thumbs up.

 

She should have known better.

 

* * *

 

This time it was Jess who asked if everything was okay. It had been a bit of a hectic day and Lena hid behind her perfectly tailored suit and immaculate updo. Her words had been sharp, calculated, and sparingly given but not cruel. Never cruel. Meetings had run as smoothly as they could and the stocks were up. The investors were happy and several new projects were graduating to higher testings and conceptual work. Lena had even been able to snag an hour after lunch to personally check on some of the teams in R&D. All in all it was a very productive day and Lena could see that morale was high, continuing on the trend she had been seeing for the last eight months. It was exactly what they needed after how rough the last few years had been. Things were finally on the upswing and if she had to Lena would get out of the metaphorical car herself and help push to keep it going. She had come so far since she had abruptly been thrown under the wheels after Lex’s fall. She wasn’t about to let all of the hard work she and her employees had put into L Corp go to waste.

 

“Miss Luthor?”

 

Lena turned from where she had been staring out of the big floor to ceiling windows of her office. The sun was setting over the green glass skyline of National City in gorgeous streaks of golden oranges and oxblood purples. She slipped her hands into her pockets and shifted her weight to the side, cocking her hip out and giving her attention to her assistant. She was surprised to still see her at the office; however, she did have her purse slung over her shoulder ready to leave.

 

“Jess? I thought you went home.”

 

The smaller woman balked nervously and visibly braced herself.

 

“If I may be candid with you?”

 

Lena studied the worried crinkle in her brow and the way her knuckles were white as she clutched at the strap of her purse. It wasn’t often that Jess dropped her no nonsense armor and it threw Lena for a loop every time. This was no different.

 

“Of course, what is it?”

 

Jess almost took another step closer but thought better of it. Her hand came up as if she was trying to pull out the words stuck in her throat and shifted into the posture that Lena associated with her overconfident act when she had to deter unscheduled visitors from barging into her office. A pull of dread and exasperation sank in.

 

“Forgive me if I’m being too forward, but I’m worried about you.”

 

“What on earth do you have to be worried about me for?” She fired back in a light tone.

 

Jess studied her for a long moment and then took a deliberate step forward.

 

“Something is bothering you. You’ve been… Part of my job is to help you and if whatever it is happens to be associated with the company please tell me. And if not, then please allow me to help in a way that is appropriate.”

 

Lena deflated and her chin dropped to her chest. She sucked in a deep steadying breath and straightened back up. Jess’s brow furrowed deeper when she gave her a small sad smile and started turning back to the view of the blazing sky.

 

“It’s personal business, I’m afraid. You did good work today Jess, go home and be with Charlie.”

 

Jess’s mouth pressed into a thin line but she could tell Lena wasn’t about to open up. They  _ had _ become friends of a sort, but there were still some personal boundaries that they mutually kept for the sake of their business relationship. Lena could tell that Jess understood they were at one of those boundaries.

 

“Really, Jess. I’ll be fine. I always am.”

 

Jess sighed and took the blatant hint. “You deserve to be happy too, Lena. Whatever it is, I hope it works out.”

 

Lena bid her goodnight and watched her go, sending her off with a nod. She turned back to the sunset just as the sky turned blood red. Off in the distance to her left she spotted a long figure hanging high in the sky, her ruby red cape catching the dying light. Lena turned away and got back to work.

 

* * *

 

“Alright. Stop what you’re doing, this is a burger intervention.”

 

“I-wh- _ Sam _ . These are  _ important documents get that fucking bag off my desk! _ ”

 

Lena scrambled to snatch the massive greasy bag of Big Belly Burger up. She huffed in annoyance as she inspected her paperwork, holding the warm paper bag aloft in her hands as if it had offended her. Technically  _ Sam _ had, but burgers don’t have feelings. Luckily there only seemed to be  _ a few _ small grease spots, but it was still the carelessness that irked her. And the cheap quality of the paper bag.

 

“You-what-” She bit back what she really wanted to say and thrust the bag back at Sam with an annoyed huff, who at least had good common sense to look apologetic.

 

“This is not the time, I’m busy.”

 

“You’re  _ always _ busy, Lena. Take twenty minutes. When was the last time you ate?”

 

Lena leaned protectively over her desk and eyed her friend suspiciously.

 

“You never bring me burgers on a whim. What do you want. Who sent you. Was it Jess?”

 

Sam’s brows rose comically and she tried to hold her hands up in self defense but the paper bag and carrying carton with drinks in them made it a little difficult.

 

“Yikes, okay! I come in peace, Miss CEO.”

 

Lena continued to eye her but sank back into her seat. She was certain this was about her failure to hide her heartbreak and she would  _ not _ be swayed even if she did here those french fries calling her name. She was just starting to get used to the numbness again and the last thing she wanted was for Sam to fuck that up. She wasn’t ready. She needed to be a hermit a little bit longer. Maybe for a few years. Just to be safe.

 

“Again I repeat, you never bring me burgers on a whim.”

 

_ Bringing burgers on a whim is a Kara Thing. _

 

Sam’s shoulders slumped minutely and she wandered back over to the small sitting area. She beckoned Lena with a motion of her head and set the food down.

 

“C’mere.”

 

Lena relented when it was obvious that Sam wasn’t going to leave. She saved the progress on her tablet and capped her pen with the beginnings of a frown. She didn’t want to admit it but she  _ had _ forgotten lunch earlier and she  _ was _ getting rather hungry. Her chair creaked quietly as she pushed away from her desk and rose to her feet. The sharp staccato click of her heels were covered up by Sam’s rustling as she happily started setting out their meal. Lena settled into the couch and they dug in, chatting idly about Ruby’s soccer team and when Lena would be able to come see her play. It wasn’t until she was picking over the ends of her french fries that Sam started steering the conversation in the direction she definitely didn’t want it to go. It was like she couldn’t catch a break.

 

“So… Jess told me you’re in robot mode again.”

 

“I am  _ not _ an automaton.” She grumbled and viciously bit a french fry in half. “I’m  _ busy. _ ”

 

“No, you aren’t, and yes you are. Which is why we’re both a little worried. Jess knows when you’re making more work for yourself, just like I know when you’re trying to hide from something.”

 

Lena chewed quietly for a moment and weighed her options. At this point she was less mortified and more heartbroken and had no desire to open that box now that she had just gotten it hastily duct taped closed. But she owed Sam some kind of explanation, even if it was a non-excuse. It wasn’t often she pried with such determination, and Lena could count on one hand that Jess went behind her back for her own benefit. Lena realized with unfortunate clarity a little too late that she was more than messed up over what had happened, and it was glaringly obvious to the people closest to her. She sighed and meticulously wiped off her fingers on a crumpled paper napkin.

 

“I appreciate you and Jess’s concern, but this is something that I need to figure out by myself.”

 

She had meant to say it strongly without room for argument. Her admission came out as a low broken murmur instead. Sam shifted to face her and propped her elbow up on the back of the low couch. She rested her head against her head and matched Lena’s quiet tone.

 

“Do you wanna talk about it?”

 

Lena could only shake her head and twist the paper napkin into a tight knot.

 

“Is this about Kara?”

 

Lena swallowed down the lump in her throat.

 

“I don’t want to talk about this because if I do I  _ will _ cry. I don’t have time to cry anymore, I have work that needs to be done. So if we could drop this particular conversation for a later date or possibly forever I would really appreciate it.”

 

“Lena,-”

 

“ _ Don’t.” _ She barely angled her head and stared at Sam unblinkingly as the familiar burn of tears tried to crack her hastily cobbled together armor.

 

“Please. Don’t. I don’t have the time.”

 

What Lena meant to say was she didn’t have the strength. Didn’t have the courage. Didn’t have the emotional stability. Sam must have seen her true intention behind her words because she immediately backed off even though her face screamed her deep concern and worry.

 

“ _ Okay _ , okay. But I’m here if you ever want to talk.”

 

“I think I’ve talked enough on that particular subject. It’s a wonder you haven’t strangled me yet. I thought for certain you and Mr. Weasel would be vying for that spot.”

 

“ _ Lena _ .”

 

She cowed at the disappointed tone.

 

“My point still stands.”

 

“And  _ you’re _ being a stubborn asshole, but I’ll stop. But that macho act won’t keep me from worrying, you’ll just have to deal with that!”

 

Lena slumped low onto the couch, still feeling reprimanded but guiltily relieved.

 

“Thank you. I don’t know how I deserve you as a friend.”

 

Sam squeezed her shoulder warmly with a world weary sigh and passed her a half-melted chocolate milkshake.

 

“Don’t be surprised, but I think the same thing.”

 

Lena shoved at her shoulder. Sam dropped the subject.

 

* * *

 

Friday arrived with steely grey clouds and the heavy humidity of threatening storms. The sky remained ominous through the early hours of the day but the air hung heavy and stagnant on National City. Lena actually remembered to eat both breakfast and lunch that day after a reasonable amount of sleep for the first time that week. She had filled most of her bed with pillows and managed to get about six hours of sleep crammed on the edge of the mattress. She didn’t even really remember most of the details of her day so far, just that nothing was on fire and she was looking forward to finally reviewing Sam’s latest notes on the green deal. Finally she could focus on some work that she hoped would actually keep her preoccupied for the rest of the day. She was eager to see Sam’s thoughts on a couple points concerning residential solar panels. Not necessarily a solar farm in the middle of a neighborhood, but panels that it would be discreetly installed on each residence or even fabricated into glass. The technology was there and had been for years, it just needed a strong foothold in the market.

 

Lena was distracted by her tablet as she pushed into her office. Her rounds from a series of short internal meetings had gone decently and there were some requests that she needed to organize and address. She had almost made it to her desk when a flash of red in the corner of her vision caught her eye. Her heart leapt into her throat and she forced herself to look, balking when Supergirl’s familiar frame came into focus out on her balcony.

 

She was pacing nervously. Lena knew it was nerves because of how her hands were waving around in front of her as she talked to herself. Her mind kicked back into gear and a mix of anxiety, elation, and the slow bubbling burn of the seeds of anger churned in her stomach. She had half a mind to tell Kara to leave for acting the way she had towards her, but the visceral ache to see her again for the first time in a week won out. Lena set her tablet down on her desk, stalked over to the door, wrenched it open, and stepped out into the humidity.

 

“What are you do- _ why are you wet?!” _

 

Kara spun with a jolt as if Lena had startled her, and maybe she had. But Kara wasn’t just nervously frazzled, she was more than a little damp and bedraggled. Her usually flawless windswept curls were in limp waves and her cape was still dripping water onto her balcony. Her appearance matched her jittery body language and Lena almost hated that she looked just as attractive when she was clearly a wreck. She was annoyed with herself for thinking such a thing. It was time to be mad at Kara, not admire her.

 

“Sam threw me in the bay.”

 

“...gross. Wait,  _ why? _ ”

 

“But then I got the fire station on the Waterfront to hose me off.”

 

“ _ Kara!” _

 

“I didn’t have time to change but I didn’t want to smell!”

 

Lena crossed her arms protectively across her chest. “And…?”

 

“And I’m an idiot.”

 

Kara half shrugged her broad shoulders and her hands slapped helplessly against her thighs. Her eyes darted around as if she were looking for her words before they found their way back to Lena. The crinkle between her brows pronounced the sadness in her expression and Lena noticed that she had dark circles starting under her eyes. Lena took a mental step back and really looked at Kara. What she found wasn’t the nigh-unstoppable force of Kryptonian power. Kara looked small and exhausted and alarmingly ashamed.

 

“I’m just… I’m an idiot.”

 

“Everyone is an idiot at some point, Kara.”

 

“Yeah but I was a  _ really _ big idiot. Like. Capital I idiot.” She gestured vaguely around her and took a couple steps towards Lena.

 

“I was afraid, and confused, and  _ definitely _ in denial-”

 

Lena felt the world grind to a stop around them. She knew Kara was about to launch into a full fledged rant but Lena felt the fight drain out of her body at the utter air of apology in Kara’s body language. But it wasn’t just her body language, it was the tone of her voice and the look in her eye and Lena knew it was real. She knew that every word she was about to say would be gospel.

 

Wait.

 

_ Denial? _

 

“-and then I  _ freaked out _ because I’m an idiot and you were so nice and just  _ you _ and then I went and iced the entire situation because I hadn’t been brave enough to really think about how I felt about you until I got shaken like a half-priced plastic maraca-”

 

_ How she really feels about me? _

 

Lena tried to find something to say but all she managed to do was let her arms fall limp to her sides as a loop of  _ how she feels about me _ got stuck in her head.

 

“-which believe me, sucked a  _ lot _ , but at least I didn’t have my usual stupid fears but I was  _ so afraid _ because you’re my best friend and I didn’t want to mess up what we had and falling in love with you scares me to death and I’m still scared but it wasn’t fair for me to run away-”

 

Lena was cupping her face and pressing a kiss to her mouth.

 

Kara slumped against her and kissed her back, carefully curling her hands around Lena’s wrists. She could feel her heart threatening to escape her chest, leaping back to life as Kara reciprocated. She still smelled like salt water. Lena pulled back with a shaky breath and pressed her forehead to Kara’s. Her nose brushed her cheek and she could feel Kara’s warm break puffing across her lips. Her hands were steady and Lena felt the jittery nerves stop.

 

“...and on the off-chance that I’m not as big of an idiot as I thought, can I take you on a date?”

 

Lena pressed close, uncaring that her dress was growing damp from Kara’s suit. Her hands crawled around Kara’s neck and heat burned under her skin as the hands curled over her wrists slid down her arms and around her waist.

 

“Oh, you aren’t the only idiot. And no dates until we talk about this. You  _ did _ ghost me. Big time.”

 

“Yeah that was stupid.”

 

“Incredibly. We’re going to set boundaries too. Like not running away from our problems and talking about things before they escalate and I’m still a little mad at you. And you owe me a sweatshirt.”

 

“...that’s fair. Wait, that was  _ my _ sweatshirt.” Kara breathed, easily agreeing.

 

“No, I claimed that sweatshirt and I want it back. But regarding your reaction? That was possibly one of the worst reactions you could have had. And then you didn’t even ask for a raincheck.”

 

“I’m sorry, and I should have said raincheck. And  _ fine _ , I’ll give you my sweatshirt back.”

 

Lena leaned heavily into Kara as her arms tightened around her waist. She was only upset in theory at this point, and it could stay there for a little while longer. The heartbreak and the loneliness could wait to be addressed, preferably when they were both less preoccupied. Lena nosed her way back over to Kara’s lips feeling as if she could fly. She was exhausted, thrown for sixteen different loops, but so happy it felt like there was a sun in her chest. Nothing else held any importance and all she wanted to do was fall into Kara. Finally Lena felt like she was where she was supposed to be. Finally, she felt like she was coming home. Lena gladly fell.

 

“I still have half a mind to ask Sam to throw you into the bay again.”

 

“I can do that myself if you want me to.”

 

“I was hoping you would kiss me again instead.”

 

Kara gladly did so with a grin tasting of salt and sun and it was one of the best things Lena had ever experienced.

 


	3. Cara Mia

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I had planned to post the short epilogue on Monday but eh. Thanks for reading. <3

If there was one business skill set that Lena was glad to be somewhat decent at, it was negotiating.

 

The past couple weeks had been far different than anything she had ever gone through, but it was definitely easier that expected when Kara was eager to sit down and talk to her. After that first weird half hour of apologies and scoldings and searing kisses, Lena cleared her schedule and sat Kara down. She may have even yelled a bit at her, but she was just so tired that she didn’t want to fight any more. She knew they both had terrible cases of abandonment issues and survivor’s guilt, but they wouldn’t get anywhere if they didn’t stop running away from each other. They definitely wouldn’t get anywhere if Lena closed herself off as she was want to do, but she fought against it. Lena just wanted to work this out. She wanted Kara back. And Kara wanted her and was willing to move past her own issues and  _ that’s _ what was important to Lena.

 

So, they started from the very beginning. It almost didn’t start when Kara couldn’t help herself with a Sound of Music joke that it was _ a very good place to start _ . But they had, and Lena confessed that what she had hoped was just a crush had grown into something more. Something deeper.

 

Lena told Kara about how she had hidden her feelings, terrified that she would lose her friendship with her and that she would have rather suffered in silence than lose her completely. Kara’s face had fallen guiltily and Lena barged on before she could apologize again, telling her how she had resorted to channeling that affection into her actions for her instead. How she had helped tweak her suit and gear, built upgraded bodysuits of all designs in case Kara wanted a change of uniform, even pants, and admitted that she had been privately funding Alien Immigration Outreach programs. Lena had to stop in her explanation because Kara was kissing her again. She may have even let Kara get a little carried away and carry Lena right onto her lap. But then the words were spilling out of Kara and she couldn’t stop.

 

Kara had been so used to being careful that she hadn’t realized she had fallen in love with Lena until she couldn’t think of anyone else but her. It was no secret to Lena that Kara didn’t care who she fell in love with. She had just never thought that Kara would fall in love with  _ her _ . But it had scared Kara so much that she had tried to distance herself from her feelings, ironically just like Lena had been trying to do. Scared her to the point of running away from the knowledge that they  _ could have _ what they wanted, that she could be happy, that it wasn’t so far of an unreachable dream as she had thought simply because she wasn’t used to such a good thing happening. To Kara, it was too good to be true. Lena understood though. Both of them had lost so much over their short lives that they were rightfully afraid of something so good. Their first discussion had dissolved into Lena texting Jess to not come into her office no matter what, and then promptly melting into Kara.

 

That very next Saturday Lena got  _ her _ sweatshirt back, and let Kara “borrow” one of her old MIT pullovers in return. It was a fair trade.

 

From there on out, they talked about anything and everything. What they wanted, what they hoped for, the possibility of their relationship lasting. Of it not lasting. Of the possibility of Kara far outliving everyone and everything she loved, including Lena. That particular part of the conversation had remained short for the time being, but Kara had an odd look in her eye and promised that she would return to it after she had done some research. Lena was a little worried and more than a little curious, but she trusted Kara not to leave her in the dark. They found and set boundaries for their work spaces and for Kara’s Supergirl duties. Loose rules had been discussed for how quickly they wanted to move (not very), and the possibility of living together since they were already so close (again, there was no rush). The one and only discussion that  _ almost _ turned into a heated debate was social media. Kara and Lena had both immediately decided that there didn’t need to be a public announcement that they were dating, and that they would like for their relationship to stay out of the limelight for as long as possible. It would come out eventually, but for the time being discretion was welcome. However it would draw attention if they started posting more of each other.

 

Or rather, how much  _ Kara _ posts of them.

 

Lena had a Twitter account but she didn’t use it much. With Kara’s job, she was wired in. Sure they each had private platforms, but there was always a risk even then. Lena managed to steer them towards an agreement that Kara could post mostly whatever she wanted… as long as Lena got to post the picture she had taken of Kara and Sam and Alex with sanitary pads stuck to them.

 

On her main Twitter account. The account with nearly a million followers.

 

Kara had easily agreed as long as they blurred Alex’s face out to protect her identity, and then made Lena tag both her and Sam in it. The angry phone calls and ordered extra training drills courtesy of Alex for  _ both _ of them had been worth it, even if Lena had been sore for a week.

 

Much to Lena’s pleasant surprise, fitting Kara into her hectic routine had been almost as easy as breathing. They still had some rough patches especially in those very first few weeks, but keeping an open line of communication had helped. Lena continued to open up to Kara, just as Kara worked through her own roadblocks, and they started doing more couple-y dating things. They went to dinner, had lunch at least once or twice a week, sent texts and called if they weren’t able to see each other on some days, and learned to rework their friendship into a new definition. While Lena had trucked through that, she and Sam pushed the green deal forward. She also took the time to fabricate some knew upgrades to not just Sam’s suit but Kara’s as well. It had kept her busy and grounded, and Kara had showed her later how much she appreciated Lena’s work. It was a new welcome tradeoff.

 

* * *

 

Before Lena realized it, four months had passed.

 

Four busy, hectic, and unbelievable months that Lena wouldn’t trade for the world. She finally felt like she was where she needed to be not only in her relationship with Kara, but in her work as well. Projects were running smoothly both on a personal front and professional, L Corp was still on the stable and steady upswing, company morale was high and investors were eager for upcoming events. She had even pushed through a popular company-wide raise just that week, much to everyone’s surprise but her and Sam and the Board of Directors. They had been planning to raise wages for well over a year but finally had the financial clout to do so. What Lena didn’t tell anyone other than the highest seats, was that she had cut her own salary to a small percentage of what it had been. Money had almost always been the root of her problems and she knew that even with her accrued wealth, taking more was just ridiculous. Of course she had made that decision after very long talks on morals and ethics with her lawyers years ago and then her friends a bit more recently, but it helped her feel more human and more down to earth with her employees. When the financial news had been broken to the employees with their most recent paycheck, Kara had taken her out to dinner and then they went for a long quiet walk down the beach.

 

That was Friday night.

 

Lena sighed deeply and continued tracing her fingers along the stitching of Kara’s sports bra. Her girlfriend, her best friend, was a warm heavy weight on her stomach. She was sprawled haphazardly on top of Lena in between her legs and on the bed in not much else, the red of her compression shorts a pop of color against the sheets. It was still too early to really get up and start the day and Lena enjoyed just lying in bed a bit longer with her as the sky turned lavender. A warm breeze pushed against the long curtains framing the wide bay window Kara had left cracked upon her return from an early morning emergency. Lena tucked her chin to her chest to get a better look at her Kryptonian resting, but not sleeping. She had been mumbling about having to go back in to the DEO a little later that Sunday morning and Lena had half-listened, but she had been mostly paying attention to the profile of her jaw. And maybe the powerful curve of her shoulders. And… maybe had been staring at her butt too.

 

“What’re you thinkin’ about?”

 

Kara propped her chin up on Lena’s stomach. Her hair was effortlessly messy and Lena couldn’t help but comb her fingers through it and think of how familiar a position she often found herself in.

 

“Singing Tesla coils.” She grinned.

 

Kara blushed and pressed her face into Lena’s stomach.

 

Lena, much to a different kind of personal annoyance, was also trying not to think about how nice Kara’s bodyweight felt in a more… base way. She was only human, after all. But one of the more important conversations they had been the most careful with was sex. It wasn’t the fact that they didn’t want to sleep with each other, but that Kara was concerned for Lena’s safety. It was a completely fair concern and one that she took very seriously. So seriously in fact, that with Kara’s insistence Lena had started developing a small machine that would mimic the UV radiation of the star of Rao. A red sun emulator. Lena was happy to put in the extra work to help Kara feel safe enough to be vulnerable with her, and she was very close to being finished with it.

 

“And red sun emulators.”

 

Kara propped her chin back up again and curled her arms a little tighter over Lena’s waist.

 

“How’s that going, by the way.”

 

Lena smoothed her hands over the tanned freckled skin of Kara’s shoulders. “Really well. I think I finally figured out the frequency this time.”

 

“I’m still really happy that you’re doing that for me.” Kara’s eyes searched her face, open and trusting.

 

Lena traced where the straps of Kara’s sports bra curved over her shoulders. “I wanted to.”

 

“I know.” Kara paused, and a blush colored her cheeks. “Y’know  _ you _ don’t have to wait. I wanna make you feel good too.”

 

“Kara, I told you that I would wait. I  _ want _ to wait. I want you to be just as comfortable.”

 

Kara studied her for a long moment, her expression pulling into a look that Lena was starting to see more of. It made heat coil low in her belly and she was very aware of how close they were laying.

 

“I just wanted to ask because I heard you in the shower yesterday morning.”

 

A weird surge of embarrassment and heat jolted through her body and Lena fell back on her gut reaction. She ripped the pillow out from under her head and smacked Kara with it. Kara laughed and buried her face into Lena’s stomach.

 

“I’m sorry! I didn’t want to but you knocked the shampoo bottles over and I was worried!”

 

“Wait-what-I-”

 

Kara shook with laughter and Lena pressed the pillow into her burning face with a loud  _ fwap _ . She had tried  _ so _ hard to be quiet. It wasn’t her fault that her foot had slipped and left her scrambling for a hand hold and yes, she had knocked over her shampoo bottles and  _ yes _ , Kara had called through the door to see if she was okay. But now the blush Kara had been sporting with she got out of the bathroom made so much more sense.

 

“ _ God _ .”

 

“That’s why I was asking.”

 

“ _ Oh _ my god.”

 

“Lena, it’s okay.”

 

“I don’t know,  _ is _ it?”

 

“...well it  _ was _ flattering, y’know.”

 

_ “Ugh, at least we’re dating now.” _

 

The mumbled comment was out past her loose lips before she realized it and then Lena felt a whole lot more embarrassed. Kara’s laughter dropped into a curious hum and she pushed herself up onto her elbows.

 

“Why Miss Luthor, I never would have guessed.”

 

Kara’s tone was light and teasing but Lena still didn’t remove the pillow and wished the mattress would swallow her up. At least Kara wasn’t mad.

 

“Oh sure, because  _ masturbating to your best friend isn’t creepy _ .”

 

“Well when you say it like that it’s not ideal.”

 

“Can you just forget I said that?”

 

Kara gently tugged the pillow out of Lena’s grasp and crawled up her body. Lena let her, watching her and blushing deeply when Kara pinned her with a look that blatantly hinted at a different kind of hunger.

 

“I could. But then that would make my confession for doing the same thing  _ also _ creepy. So how about the creepy cancels out?”

 

Lena’s brows raised as her heart thundered in her chest at her new found knowledge. Kara lowered herself back down and pulled her lips in a hot line down her jaw to her ear, her weight resting comfortably in the cradle of Lena’s hips.

 

“Or do you want to make it creepy?”

 

Lena slid her hands greedily over the warm skin of Kara’s back and squeezed her thighs around her hips, cursing the barrier of the thin sheet.

 

“I’d prefer you use a different adjective now that we’re actually dating,  _ Gomez _ .”

 

She felt Kara grin against her cheek and then she nosed back over and pressed a warm lazy kiss to her mouth. Lena fell into the familiar comfort of her lips and gladly let herself be distracted for a few moments. A few moments turned into something more heated and Kara pulled back with a shallow pant and suggestive move of her hips.

 

“I think I can think of a few,  _ Cara Mia _ .”


End file.
